D2 Sentai Brigade Ranger!
by usa2z
Summary: Follow the adventures of everyone's favorite anime reviewers, the DesuDes Brigade, as... a Sentai team? I need to get out more. Also featuring, anime, TTGWTG, and Cinemassacre charachters.
1. Because the Plot Says So

"Kono monogatariha shougai sa re masu."

"ZZZ"

"Anata ga saishono kakikomi ha kana razu shougai desu."

"ZZZ"

"Watachi ha hontouno rixyodan ha watshi woutta eru koto ha deki nai koto wonegette i masu."

"ZZZ"

"I can hear you Mr. Smith."

"ZZZ"

"Class, it appears Mr. Smith is sleeping during my lecture." Professor Otaku said.

The class stuttered.

"Does anyone remember the penalty for sleeping in class?"

There was silence.

"Come now surly you all read the syllabus."

Again there was silence.

"Apparently not."

Prof reached for lever on his desk. "Very well, since none of you seem to have done their homework, anyone caught sleeping is dropped into the tentacle pit."

Prof pulls the lever, and the floor beneath the sleeping student collapses, tentacles rising up to greet him as he falls.

"Have a good time Squidward." Prof said, pulling back the lever and restoring the floor. "For the rest of you," he said turning back to rest of the class, "hopefully you've spent more time reading the textbook than your syllabus. Pop Quiz."

The class groaned. Prod began writing questions on the board in English "When I return I want all of these questions transcribed and answered in Japanese. English answers will receive no credit, nor will Japanese answers with no question. Is that clear class?"

"Hai sensei." The class responded weakly.

"Good to know." Prof responded, leaving the class room heading for the teachers' lounge.

When Prof arrived at the lounge, he was surprised to see four strangers there, three men and a woman. Students didn't come here, and Prof knew all of the teachers; who were these strange people? Something about them worried Prof. Two of the men were speaking to each other in British sounding accents. The woman was also speaking. She sounded… southern? No not really, at least not backwater-hick southern. Come to think of it only one of the men sounded exactly British, perhaps the other was Canadian? The strangers' nationality, however, was the least of his thoughts. The man who was not speaking wore a mask that covered his entire head. Who did that outside of Halloween? Cosplayers? Burglars? Exiled princes in an alternate Japan?

…

"No, that last one is just silly." Prof said aloud.

Hearing these words the strangers turned and saw him. "YAY! It's him!" shouted the man with the British Accent.

Prof was disturbed.

The other men looked at the one who had just spoken with equally disturbed looks on their faces. The woman also seemed disturbed for a moment, but quickly clamed and approached the professor. "Are you Professor Otaku?" she asked.

"I am," Prof responded, "who are you?"

"My name is Jesu Otaku," the woman said "and these are my colleges, Arkada, Malakye and Film Brain. We have come here to ask you for your help."

"Are you new students?" Prof questioned "My normal office hours are 2-4; I don't tutor any other time. Squidward, however, will take your questions 'round-the-clock."

"We aren't students," Malakye, the masked one said "we're soldiers."

"Our country was attacked." Jesu Otaku said. "Well, Film Brain's county and mine, Ark and Mal joined us later."

"What country might that be?" Prof asked.

"Kickassia." JO replied.

"Where?"

"It's a micro-nation in the middle of Nevada." JO said. "It has been overrun by mob of angry nerds."

"Does that happen very often?" Prof said sarcastically.

"It's actually how we came to power… kinda helps that country controls about an acre of land."

"So let me get this straight." Prof began."You guys came all the way from Nevada to ask a Japanese Professor you've never met to help fight for an acre of land?"

"Yep! It was my idea!" Film Brian said.

"Why?" Prof asked.

"Because the plot says so."

"What?"

"Don't worry Prof; we're going to give you magical superpowers to help us fight." Film Brain said.

…

"I've heard enough." Prof said turning to leaving the room, slamming the door behind him. "Wait Professor!" Film Brain shouted running after him.

"That could have gone a lot better." Malakye said.

"Honestly JO, I don't know why you trust that guy," Arkada continued "he's off his rocker."

"He and I were the only loyal Kickassians to escape alive; everyone else either was captured, switched sides, or died. Go through that with anyone and you'll learn trust too." JO said. "I'm not sure what to make of his, well, intuition, but if it weren't for it we wouldn't have escaped either."

"Too be fair," Malakye said "it's not like we have any other lead to go one. You have to be chosen to use one of our morphers, and there's no objective way to find a chosen one."

"I hope you guys know what you're doing," said Ark "It's only a matter of time before Mickey catches up with us."

Professor Otaku sat at his desk, early the next morning, grading the pop quiz before his students were set to arrive. He was not pleased with their answers.

"No, Mr. Tea, the emperor of Japan is not Chuck Norris," He said aloud "nor was Michael Jackson the first man to walk on the Moon."

He looked up at the clock. "Strange," he thought "some of the students should have arrived by now."

Prof graded the last of the quizzes, and found the results equally unsatisfying. "Perhaps," he though, "if I had given my class the full time I initially intended they would have done better. They would have gotten it if that British lunatic hadn't chased me back to the room. Aw well, at least Squidward will have some fun today."

Prof looked back at the clock. Class would start any minute and still no one was here. Has an entire class ever been late? Something was amiss. He decided to go out and investigate.

Going out into the hallway he was shocked by what he saw. Just a few meters from him was a knight in full black body armor. "And I though Mal was weird." Prof thought. The knight's weirdness did not end there. Prof was amazed he even fit in the hallway; he had to be at least 10 feet tall.

"Um hello," Prof said to the knight. It turned to face him. "My class is missing, would you happen to have seen about thirty college age kids walking around?"

The knight drew a sword.

"Woah big fella, no need to be violent!" Prof said.

The knight charged at him.

"All right you want violence, I'll give you violence." Prof said.

Prof leapt into the air aiming a kick at the knight's head. His foot collided with the knight's helmet… hard.

Prof fell to the ground, his foot in pain, the knight seemingly unmoved. It swung its sword at him, Prof barely rolling out of the way. He took off running. The knight perused… really slowly.

"At least I know I can outrun it." Though Prof.

He then heard what sounded like a rocket.

Turning the corner quickly, Prof barely dodged the knight's sword, which flew at him surrounded with black fire. The sword collided with the wall of Prof's classroom, setting it ablaze. Prof ran for the exit as fast as he could.

As Prof approached the exit he slowed down, seemingly having lost the knight. He stopped and panted.

"Was that thing even human?" he wondered aloud.

A few meters ahead of him was the building's front door, directly beside him an open window. Prof heard speaking through the window, and looked out of it. He saw a row of knights like the one he had encountered earlier lined up in front of the exit. Most of the knights held students in their arms. In front of the knights was a man Prof had not seen before holding a photograph in view of the students. The knights that did not hold students were kneeling to him.

"I'm going to ask this one more time," the strange man said to the students. "How many of you saw these people?" He waved the photograph in front of them for effect.

"Come on," he said not getting a response, "I know they were here, how does one not notice a man with a full face mask!"

"And I thought those weirdoes were just annoying," Prof Thought, "I need to get out of here!"

Prof began making his way to the back door, but he heard screaming and ran back to the window.

One of the knights was rubbing his burning sword over the back of a student. The man motioned and the knight pulled back his sword, the flames going out both on it and the student.

"I told you," the student said "I didn't see anything! None of us have!"

"If that is that case," the stranger said, "you all are of no use to me. Black Knights, kill them." The students screamed.

"Hey!" Prof yelled storming out the front door. "Leave my students alone!" He charged at the stranger fist first. The stranger caught his punch. "Well, well, well, what have we here?" he said.

A knight approached. Prof tried to run, but the stranger held onto him and would not let him move. The knight kicked him in the stomach as he finally let go, sending Prof flying into the wall of the building. Two more knights approached him. He could not roll away from both of them.

"Kill him first." The stranger said. The knights drew their swords, setting them ablaze, and lunged at Prof with them. Prof closed his eyes expecting the end. Nothing happened.

Prof opened his eyes. Standing in front of him was a man in blue spandex, facing forward toward two piles of disconnected piles of armor. The man wore a black cape with a foreign symbol in written on it in blue ink. Prof recognized it; it was the kanji for "water."

"Come on," the man said in a familiar voice, "you can't possibly have expected to die in chapter one."

In flash of light all of the knights holding students broke apart into pieces and three other spandex clad warriors appeared around them with swords out. One of them wore yellow spandex and a white cape with the kanji for "lightning" written on it in yellow ink. Another wore orange spandex and a black cape inscribed with an orange kanji meaning "earth," and the last wore violet spandex and a white cape, which bore the violent kanji "wind." The students ran for cover.

In dawned on Prof. "I know that accent," he said looking at the blue ranger. "You're the lunatic who chased me yesterday! You all are the people from the lounge!"

"Yep, that would be us." Film Brain said.

The stranger laughed. "I figured threatening the students would lore you goddies out, though I will say, I didn't expect that one to show up and challenge me." He said, looking at Prof. He picked up a sword from one for the fallen knights. "Have you guys come to surrender or will we have to do this the hard way?"

"I think you know the answer to that 8-Bit Mickey." JO said from behind her purple visor. "Film Brain," she continued "get the Professor and his students to safety. Ark, Mal, you guys take out the rest of the Black Knights. The traitor is mine!"

The wind picked up as JO charged at Mickey with speed Prof had never seen before, Mickey barely blocking in time. Ark and Mal engaged the other knights. Film brain grabbed Prof's arm. "Come on!" He said, and they both ran off in the direction the students had fled.

"I take it this guy was one of the 'nerds' who invades your country." Prof said to Film Brain.

"Not exactly," Film Brain said. "8-Bit Mickey was originally one of us."

"Are you saying he was a ranger, like you?"

"No, he wasn't a ranger, originally that was just JO, but he was a Kickassian. When we were attacked he betrayed the glorious Nostalgia Critic and helped the invaders against him."

They caught up to the students hiding behind the next building.

"Mickey has forsaken us to follow our enemy, the Angry Videogame Nerd."

Sparks flew as JO's sword clanged against Mickey's.

"DIE ALREADY!" JO shouted as Mickey blocked her latest blow. No Black Knight had ever resisted her as Mickey did now.

"Such a temper," Mickey said. "Back in Kickassia I remember you being so calm and intellectual."

"You betrayed us!" she shouted sticking her hardest blow yet. "You're responsible for all of this Mickey! You didn't kill him, but if not for you he would still be alive!" Mickey laughed as he blocked even this blow.

"Why did you do it Mickey?" She said "Why did you said with the Nerd!"

"A hick like you could never understand." He began. "I sided with the Nerd, because I saw the truth. The Nerd is God. Only he can see the good from the bad. Only he can destroy evil."

JO struck again; again Mickey blocked. "You sicken me." She said, this time flipping backwards instead of striking directly. Her sword began to glow. "Wind Slash!" she yelled moving he sword through the air, and the air itself moved forward to slice at Mickey. His hand was severed. "Give up!" JO shouted. Mickey only laughed.

Mickey's hand stopped in midair and then floated back toward his wrist. It reattached, and the wound healed, as though nothing had happened. JO was speechless.

"Like I said," Mickey began "a hick like you could never understand the truth. I gave the Nerd everything he needed to take Kickassia, and in exchange, he gave me immortality."

Mickey looked out into the distance, and saw a student peeking back from behind the other building. "Dividing you forces is never a good idea, JO," he said, "and I shall now show you why!" The clouds above them began to darken. "In the name of the Nerd, I summon a monster from the deepest void!" Lightning struck behind the other building.

Lightning came down in front of the students, and a lion appeared before them standing upright. It roared at Prof. Film Brian stepped in front of it. "I'll handle this." He said to the professor. "Get you students as far away as possible." Prof turned to his students. 'You heard the man, let's go! Prof said," and he and his students ran for the parking lot.

Film Brain lunged at the lion. It did the same, it claws colliding head on with Film Brain's sword. The sword won, and a deep gap appeared in the lions paw. It ran away.

"Pussy." Film Brain thought.

The lion suddenly disappeared, then reappeared behind the Film Brain, and began clawing at his back. Film Brain was taken by surprise. He turned around slamming his sword into the lions's side. As he did, the lion bend down and bit him. Once the blows were struck, the two leap backwards away from each other.

"I never liked cats," Film Brain said midair, and threw his sword at the lion. "Water Rapier!" he said.

The sword collided with the lion and embedded itself into it. The lion became thinner, as water leaked out through his skin and began floating toward the Film Brain.

"The water from within your own body will now be used against you." He said, and then the water went flying back at the beast crashing into it like a tidal wave. The sword left it, and flew back into Film Brain's hand.

The lion began to run away again and again disappeared.

Film brain turned around ready to stab the beast as it reappeared behind him, but it did not.

Prof and his students arrived at the parking lot.

"Alright students," Prof said "Class is dismissed. All you need to drive as far away from here as possible. If you don't have a car, find someone who does. I do know who has a car and who doesn't. Don't make me bring Squidward out here."

Prof did not know if was from fear or respect, maybe it was both, but order was maintained, and soon all but one student had been driven away.

'What are you still doing here?" Prof said to the student. "You have a car. Go away!"

"Professor, it's me Mr. Smith." He said.

Prof noticed the suction cup-shaped marks on the student's face.

"Are you going to try and kill me like the last student I dropped in the tentacle pit?" He asked.

"I was actually considering it when I came here this morning," Smith said," but after seeing you stand up to Mickey, I want to hug you!"

"I'm not a huggy person." Prof said.

"Please!" Smith said outstretching his arms.

"No"

"Please"

"No."

"Please"

The lion then appeared behind Smith.

"NO!" Prof shouted lunging for his student as the lion jumped forward. They both passed underneath it.

Prof got to his feat and stood between the lion and his student. "GET OUT!" he shouted at Smith, who quickly obeyed.

The lion charged at Prof. He closed his eyes expected not to open them. Nothing happened.

He opened his eyes and saw that the lion had stopped, the tip of Film Brain's sword pocking out of his chest. Film Brain stood a few meters behind it.

"Chapter one, remember?" He said. "Water Rapier!"

Water began leaking from the lion and floating back toward Film Brain, but this time the lion would have none of this attack. It disappeared, and both the water and the sword fell to the ground, and would not return to him. Film Brain turned around and saw the lion materialize in front of him, but without his sword he was trapped. His fists were no match for the lion's claws. It began to maul him.

Prof was horrified. Film brain's visor shattered, and he de-morphed. The lion then picked him up threw him at Prof, causing him to crash into Prof's car, the window shattering into his back.

"Chapter one, shit." Film Brain said.

Prof rushed to him. "Are you alright?" He said.

Film Brain reached into his pocket. "The plot says it's time for me to go," he said 'but it also says it's time for you to come." He pulls something from his pocket and hands it to Prof. "Strap this too your wrist, hold it high, and say what comes to your heart. Then you will have the power to slay that monster."

Prof looked at the strange device Film Brain handed to him. It was a white slab with a red stone in the top center, and white Velcro extending down into a strap beneath it. Prof turned around and saw the lion charging toward them.

"Here goes nothing." He said strapping the morpher around his wrist. He raised his hand into the air and shouted "D7! Yin Morph! Fire!"

It only took a second, but it felt like a year to Prof, as fire engulfed him. It did not feel like the fire was burning him, in fact, it felt as though Prof was the fire. Then the fire disappeared an left Prof clad in red spandex and a whit cape, the kanji "fire" proudly displayed as it flapped in wind.

Prof drew his sword just in time to catch the lion's claw, gauging the lion's paw, opposite the gauge Film Brain had made. The lion ran away.

Prof closed his eyes. He knew what would happen next from watching Film Brian. The lion would appear behind him, and he would slash it away.

He opened his eyes. He lion disappeared and Prof turned back sword ablaze. The lion reappeared and Prof slashed through it, and the car. The gas ignited an exploded. Both the lion and Prof leapt back.

Prof landed on his feet, the lion on its side. It had been fighting too long, but Prof had only begun. He raised his sword. "This is it!" He said. "Fire Dragon!"

A dragon of fire came forth from Prof's sword and stuck the lion. Engulfed in flames, the lion gave out one final roar, and then was a pile of ash.

Prof approached Film Brain. Now he was both stabbed and burned. "We need to get you to a doctor." Prof said.

"It is too late for me now," Film Brain said, 'but you have shown it is not too late for you. Go, join with the others, and defeat the scourge that summoned the monster."

"I don't know how to do that!" Prof said. "I shouldn't have known how to do anything I just did!"

"You knew how, because the power came from within you. Ameterasu has given you a gift that the morpher merely awakened. Take the morpher, use your gift, and destroy evil."

The clouds parted and the rising sun was exposed.

"Symbolism!" Film Brain said, and with that he drew his last breath.

JO struck at Mickey yet again. Of course, Mickey blocked. JO began breathing deeply. How much longer could she keep doing this?

"Getting tired aren't we JO?" Mickey said. "Allow me then put an end to the overly long gag."

Mickey threw his sword at JO and it set itself ablaze with black fire. It struck JO, and she went flying back and hit the ground. Her visor shattered. She was barely conscious.

Mickey picked up another sword from a fallen Black Knight. "Not even your ranger powers are a match for what my god has given me." He said. "Die JO." He walked toward her, sword in hand, as JO slowly tried to crawl away.

There is a flash of light and Ark and Mal appear between them, swords out, severing both of Mickey's hands. His hands hit the ground. Tense seconds passed, and then Mickey's hands rose back up and reattached to his wrists.

Mickey looks back over the battle field; both his summon and all of the Black Knights he brought were dead. Now all of the rangers were free to fight him. He had beat JO, but lost the battle.

"Congratulations, brigadiers," said Mickey. "The day is yours, but tomorrow belongs to God." In a flash of lightning he disappeared.

"Are you alright JO?" Arkada asked from behind his yellow visor.

JO laid ground, de-morphing. "I'll be fine." She said. She sighed. "I can't believe he got away."

"It's alright JO." Malakye said. "I wouldn't have sought you out if I didn't think we could win. You'll have your revenge, and I'll have mine."

Prof approached. "Who are you?" JO asked. Prof removed his helmet. The brigade gasped.

"Well I'll be damned." Arkada said. "Film Brian was actually right. He's one of us!"

"Professor," JO began attempting to stand "where is Film Brain?"

Prof sighed and looked at the ground. He looked back up and told her plainly "Film Brain in dead. He was killed a monster that Mickey summoned."

JO fell back to the ground and began sobbing. "Not again!" she wailed. "He killed my mentor, he killed by lover, and now he killed the last of my countrymen!"

"Jesu Otaku, the last Kickassian." Malakye thought. Arkada now looked down at JO in pity. He had hardly known the Film Brain, but he knew what he meant to JO. Malakye had known the two Kickassians longer than Arkada, though not longer than they'd know each other. He failed to sympathize though with either of them. His goals were the same as JO's, but his motives were oh so different. He knew better than to share any of his thoughts right now.

Arkada looked up at Prof. "Professor," he said, "if you are able to use a morpher it means you have been chosen, that your destiny it to fight alongside us. I have to apologize to you on our behath for bringing this battle to you and your students. I know it's not your war we fight, but surly there must be a way to convince you to trust us, to join us."

Prof sighed. "I need no convincing." He said. "I still don't trust you after what happened here, but after seeing what those monsters did to my students, I know which side has the moral high ground in this war. I will fight with you guys."

"Why thank you," Ark began.

"On one condition," Prof interrupted. "You all work for me."

Ark was insulted. "That's a bit of a condition don't you think."

"Like you said, this isn't my war; you brought it to me. If you want my help, you should be willing to pay a price for it."

Malakye looked out into the distance. "We should negotiate this later." He said. "The police will be here soon, and JO is de-morphed and in pain. She is currently our leader. You should talk to her about this when she has recovered from her injuries, both physical and emotional. For now we best be going."

"Will us moving on attract more of those knights?" Prof asked.

"It's possible, but highly doubtful." Malakye said. "The quad of Black Knights Ark and I just destroyed were the same ones that have been following us since we left Nevada. With them gone, it will be difficult for the Nerd to track us."

"Mal," JO whimpered "we can't leave now! What about Film Brain!"

"I will retrieve his body." Malakye said. "We can stop and bury him somewhere more secluded. After that, we leave and begin our search, talking our war with us, far away."

JO conceded to that. Prof still needed more. "Alright I'll go with you for now." He said. "My continued services, however, are still subject to the previous condition."

"Fair enough," Malakye said. "The search now begins."

"What search?" Prof asked.

"We need to find our new fifth member." Mal began. "Now that Film Brain has passed, Tsukiyomi will choose another to take his place. We must find his choice."

"How do we do that?" Prof asked.

"So many questions for a wannabe leader," Mal joked. "There is no objective way to determine the will of a god. He found you through Film Brain's 'intuition' baring that we will have to resort to means ever more metaphysical. We must look for signs of the moon god's favor."

"And what might a sign of this favor be?" Prof further inquired.

"A ranger's ultimate weapon," Malakye replied, "a mecha."

"You want us to find a mecha?" Prof asked. Mal nodded. "What do you want us to find next. a fox girl?"

Vixen sneezed.

"Bless you Vixen." Rabbit said. "Are you okay?"

"Oh, I'm fine Rabbit," Vixen said. "What were you saying?"

FUTURE VISSION

To begin, a platypus begins a hunt while a fox dreams of being an owl. Who will first learn the rules of love and war? The falcon's wings are clipped and the New Moon rises high above the lowly fox. A great terror rises up from the fox's den as the owl takes flight. And Then!


	2. The Nightmare Begins

Vixen awoke as the sunlight hit her face.

"Five more minutes mommy, " she thought, and willed to return to sleep.

She quickly got up.

"What?" She thought, "Why am I not in my room!" She tried to look around, but her head did not move.

Against her will her body began moving toward the door. It opened the door revealing a bathroom, a mirror in her line of sight. In it she saw a girl she had never met. In her head she screamed, but her mouth did not move.

Several minutes passed as the girl Vixen saw in the mirror played out a standard mourning routine. She brushed her teeth, styled her hair, and then returned to her room. By this time Vixen had recovered from the shock she received upon waking, but she was still far from calm.

"What's happening to me?" She thought. "Is this a dream? Can I just pinch myself and wake up. No, I can't; I can't move my hand, oh god!"

Vixen's new body approached a dresser, and began to change into day clothes. Her doorbell rang. "Just a minute!" She yelled. After she was finished changing, she walked out of the room, and down a hall to what Vixen gathered was her front door. She opened it. A man was at the door.

"Hello JO." He said.

"Hey Nash." JO responded.

The two kissed. Vixen cringed.

"How was the trip here?" JO asked.

"Overall , well enough,." Nash replied. "A shame the flight got delayed. I was hoping to be here last night."

"It's okay, I'm a morning person anyway." JO responded. "I can't believe we finally get to go to Kickassia!"

"It's all your doing babe." Nash replied. "Linkara has taken a real liking to you. I doubt any of the higher-ups even know I exist."

"I don't think the Glorious Leader waking up dreaming about me either." JO responded. "Linkara's research is just very similar to mine."

"And far from unique," Nash countered "this guy is third in command behind the Glorious Leader. If he was willing to pay to fly us both out to Nevada, you have to be doing something well."

JO hugged him.

"Thank you, Nash" she said. "Come on in, I'll bring out the champagne."

JO and Nash both walked down the hallway and into a kitchen. Jo took a bottle and two glasses out of a cabinet, and poured both glasses full.

She handed a glass to Nash. "A toast," she proposed raising her glass "to our new country, to Kickassia!"

"To Kickassia!" Nash replied.

They clanged their glasses together, and then Vixen's vision blurred.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She woke up in her durum room. She tried successfully to raise her hand up to her face. She jumped out of bed and pulled a mirror off her vanity. Turning on the lights, she saw her own face.

"Oh thank God!" she said.

Her roommate was awakened.

"Vixen," she whined in her characteristic British accent "it's three in the morning."

"Rabbit!" Vixen replied. "I just had this really vivid dream! I woke up, but I wasn't in my room and couldn't control my body! Then this strange man comes and we talk about going to some country I've never heard of, and I was scared, but it was really sweet, and then we toasted, and now I'm here!"

Rabbit was unmoved. "It's three in the morning." She said.

Vixen sighed. "You're right." She said crawling back into bed. "I've just never had a dream that life-like. I could feel the floor under my feet and the warmth of the sun."

"Talk to someone about it tomorrow if you must." Rabbit said. "For now we need to sleep."

"Fine." She Vixen replied, and she turned out the light.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

The next day, a van crossed over the state line.

"I never liked Florida." JO said inside the van. "Nash always told the weirdest stories about it."

"Weird as in finding out a Japanese goddess gave you supernatural powers and you have to help strangers fight against immortal computer nerds to secure an acre of land?" Prof replied.

"Okay maybe not that weird." JO responded.

Malakye spoke from behind the driver's seat. "The story that brought us here competes with that. Three teenage girls claim to have discovered a mecha partially buried in a wood near one of the state universities. The authorities didn't take it seriously, but it's a clear sign that one of them is the new blue ranger."

"I still don't understand why we had to drive all the way out here when we have the ability to teleport across the planet." Arkada complained.

"I already explained it several times." Malakye began. "The Nerd has the power to track any teleportation that leaves the Sun Temple. That's how he knew when we went to Indiana to collect Prof."

"He's right Arkada, we can't risk what happened to my students be repeated down here." Prof said. "Still though, it was a really long ride. Can't we at least teleport home? You said the Nerd won't be able to track teleportation coming into the temple."

"Indeed he cannot." Mal said. "The temple's cloak prevents it; however I still cannot give my consent to teleporting us home."

"Why not?" Arkada screamed.

"That would entail leaving my van here in Florida." Mal replied.

Prof grunted. "Aren't I supposed to be the leader here?"

"I still haven't agreed to that." Jo said. "And if I decide to do so, I hope your first decision as leader won't be to deprive us of our only safe means of transportation."

Prof conceded. Arkada was still cranky but kept to himself.

"Look on the bright side," Malakye said "we should be there in, oh, about three or four more hours."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx

As Vixen fell asleep her perspective shifted. She found herself standing up, eyes wide open, viewing a mountainous landscape. She seemed to be on a balcony.

Without her prompting, her hand rose up and touched her face. She saw it out the corner of her eye; it was much lighter than her own.

"I'm JO again, aren't I?" Vixen thought.

"Enjoying the view Miss JO?" A male voice said from behind her.

"Yep, I'm JO again." She thought.

JO turned around. Vixen was expecting to see Nash, but instead she saw another she had not seen before.

"It's fabulous, Linkara." JO said. "How did you find this place?"

"I bumped into it," he said "literally. This whole building was invisible until I touched it. When I first left it's vicinity it was invisible again. You wouldn't find it unless you knew where it was, or you just found it at random."

"Where you see randomness, I see fate." Jo said.

…

Vixen laughed inside of her.

Linkara smiled, perhaps laughing himself on the inside, but he was polite. "Perhaps you are right." He said. "I wouldn't even have been able to come out here and stumble onto the temple if things had gone just a little bit differently. The Glorious Leader was obsessed with Kicakssia when we first founded it. He was going to blow it up if any of us tired to leave; fortunately Bargo was able to talk some sense into him."

"You never did tell me what this place is called." JO said.

"I have no idea what the people who built this place called it," Linkara said "but I've come to call it the Sun Temple."

"Why is that?" JO asked.

"Come this way, and I'll show you." He replied.

Linkara walked JO off the balcony inside the building and down a thick hallway. Oriental writing was all over the walls.

"What is this place?" Vixen thought. "Are we in Japan?"

JO seemed to share her confusion.

"The more I see of this temple, the more I think it out of place." She said. "What's a Japanese temple doing in the middle of the Sierra Nevada?"

"Your guess is as good as mine." He responded. "No one, Japanese or otherwise, lives this deep in the wilderness. What's even weirder is the apparent age of this place. I'm still waiting on Spoony to do a radiometric dating test to be sure, but if the trees in the temple garden are any indication, this place may, in fact, predate Japanese civilization."

Going down a flight of stairs, they enter a very large room. In its center of the room, there was the statue of an Asian woman wearing a white kimono, towering up to just below the ceiling. A mural of the day-time sky covered the ceiling, the sun directly over the statue's head. In the statue's hands was a smaller white stone; beneath her feet was a marble pedestal. More oriental writing was on the pedestal. Surrounding the pedestal and going out well into the room was a drawing of a circle containing five pointed star. At each of the five points of the star was an opened stone box, three of which contained white slabs with crystals at their centers: one red, one yellow, and one violet. Each of the boxes had a stone lid off to the side with a single kanji and a series of dots inscribed on it.

"This room is the largest in the temple and is located at its center." Linkara said. If my Japanese-to-English dictionary is correct, the writing on the pedestal reads 'Worship here Amaterasu, great goddess of the sun,' hence the temple's name. The symbols on the lids are, in ascending number of dots joining them, 'lightning,' 'wood,' 'fire,' 'wind,' and 'light.' All of the boxes were closed when I arrived, and contained slabs similar to three still here. The other who are in my quarters back in Kickassia."

"This reminds me of something." JO said. She pulled her phone out of her pocket, and pulled up an image from the Internet. "I encountered this symbol in my research on digital monsters." She said showing it to Linkara. "Do you think there is a connection?"

On the screen was a circle containing two overlapping five-pointed stars. One of them pointed up, the other pointed down. At each of the up-pointing star's points were the kanji seen on the lids here. The down-pointing star had five other kanji at its points.

"I don't know." Linkara replied. "Maybe there's another room with the other half of this symbol in it that I haven't found yet. Maybe there's even a whole other temple built around it. It does seem too uncanny to be a coincidence."

Linkara turned around to a tap on his shoulder. JO also turned around and saw behind him what looked like a ten foot knight covered in white armor. In its hand it had a pot of coffee.

"Thank you Mr. Knight " Linkara said taking the pot from the knight. Both JO and Vixen were shocked.

"Don't worry." Linkara said to them. "A whole bunch of knights like this one appeared when I first touched the statue. They do whatever I tell them; they even bring me coffee! DO you want some?"

"No thanks," JO responded.

"I wound up sending most of them down to Kicakssia to uphold security. It was the Critic's orders." Linkara said. "Angry Joe was thrilled. It's a shame I can't ask him to return the favor and fortify this place like he has Kicakssia; the Glorious Leader is still a little shaky about people leaving. Right now only three people know about this place, you, me, and the Critic himself."

JO approached one of the boxes.

"Is it alright if I physically examine these?" She asked.

"Sure." Linkara said. "As I said, I've already done it with two of the boxed slabs, and the statue itself."

JO lifted one of the slabs from the box, and noticed white Velcro coming from its bottom. Curious she strapped it to her wrist.

"Would you believe it," Linkara joked "Velcro in a Japanese temple that predates Japan? What's next free energy?"

JO, however, did not notice. Something about what she had strapped to her wrist just seemed natural to her, like it was mean to be there. She didn't know how or why, but she felt compelled to use it.

She raised her arm into the air. "D8! Yin Morph! Wind!" She yelled, and with that the wind filled the room, roaring around her. Linkara and Vixen both gasped, and through JO, Vixen felt as though she became the wind. When the wind died down JO was covered in violet spandex. The white knight kneeled before her.

"That's new." Linkara said.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Vixen! Wake Up!"

Vixen awoke in her desk. The professor was mad at her.

"How many times are you going to fall asleep in my class?" He raved. "I've heard of teachers in Indiana who drop sleepers to tentacle monsters."

"Funny," Vixen responded, "Most professors think us mature enough not to care."

The professor became visibly angry. Fortunately Rabbit managed to diffuse the situation.

"Professor," she said. "Class is over. It's time to go."

"Get out all of you." He replied. The class obliged. Vixen met up with her friends outside the building. They began walking toward the parking lot.

"Can you believe it!" Kagami exclaimed. "SRING BREAK!"

"It's a shame none of us can afford to go to Cancun." Snuggle Slut replied.

"Meh, I usually just read most of the holidays." Rabbit said.

"Still there has to be somewhere we can go to celebrate." Kagami said. "We live in Florida for Pete's sake!"

'Wanna just go camping out were we found that robot?" Vixen asked.

"I say we go to MetroCon!" Fenrir said.

Her friends laughed at her. Like that would ever happen.

As they arrived in the parking lot, a stranger stood in their way.

"Hello," he said. "I presume you girls include, Vixen Nine, Kagami Chosen, and Rabbit Bunny?"

"Um yes," Rabbit said suspiciously.

"I'm going to have to ask you all to come with me." The stranger replied. "My boss has taken an interest in you, and the mecha you claim to have found."

"Are you kidding me!" Kagami replied. "Why would we go with a stranger like you?"

"Then it appears we'll have to do this the hard way."

The stranger snapped his fingers and squad of Black Knights appeared around the girls.

"Seize them." The stranger said, and the knights grabbed them and knocked them over the head. Vixen fell unconscious.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Vixen found herself lying down in bed. She could not move. In front of the bed was an active television.

"Am I injured or am I dreaming again?" she wondered.

Her questions were answered by a now familiar voice from the other side of the bed.

"What do you think of Hogan's Heroes, JO?" Nash asked.

"Lame." JO said. "I wish we didn't have to watch it every day."

"When in Rome, do as the Romans do." Nash replied.

He looked at JO's wrist.

"You still haven't told me what that weird white thing is." He said.

"I'm not allowed to." JO replied.

"Critic's orders?" Nash asked.

"Linkara's, actually." JO said. "I can't say what, but something, erm, interesting happened at my new job. He's going to talk to the Glorious leader about it tonight."

"Who'd have thought a country so small would have so many secrets?" Nash said. "First whose weird knights, and now this! Aw well, I've heard it was worse before we got here.

A static noise then came from the TV and the image on screen began to flicker, static overtaking the sound. JO swung her head toward the screen, just in time to for the static to clear and a new image to appear. On screen was a man Vixen had never seen before. JO however seemed to have. Vixen felt her face tighten in shock.

"People of Kickassia!" a voice came from the TV, "followers of the Nostalgia Critic! The shit has hit the fan. For too long you have challenged me with this land! Now I shall take it for my own! From now this nation shall be known as PWNia. Submit, or die. So declares your new ruler, the Angry Videogame Nerd!"

The TV returned to normal, and the sound of the Nerd's voice was replaced by explosions. JO leapt from bed and ducked for cover.

"JO! We have to get to the basement!" Nash yelled.

JO looked at her wrist. She knew what she had to do.

"Nash," she said. "You want to know what I've been doing with do with Linkara these last few weeks. I will show you now." She raised her hand into the air.

"D8! Yin Morph! Wind!" She shouted and once again the wind picked up and transformed her. Nash stared in shock.

"See you later." She said and ran out the door, into the battle.

Above her head she saw floating above the battlefield a large structure. I was like a castle, with several large towers pointing out of a star shaped base.

"It looks just like the sun temple…" JO thought aloud.

Tracers shoot up from the surface toward the mysterious temple while falling from the temple were boulders of rock ice and metal. Despite the apparent technological advantage of one side over the other, the temple seemed unphased by gunfire, whereas the falling debris flattened buildings in the micro-nation beneath it. On the ground an equally one sided battle raged. Black Knights under control of the Nerd crossed swords everywhere with Linkara's White Knights. For every White Knight to rise against the Nerd, however, at least three Black Knights drew sword against them. White Knights also fell victim to debris attacks from the floating temple. All around JO were lifeless piles of White Armor.

JO raised her sword. "Air Slash!" She shouted knocked down several Black Knights with one strike. She crossed swords with another while a White Knight ambushed it, and then she took down several more with another air slash. Vixen was impressed.

"How is this girl doing this?" She wondered. "Either she's been pumping iron at the gym every minute of her life, or she's getting help from that morpher…" She chuckled. "Amaterasu's morpher. Either way I'm jealous."

JO saw something in the corner of her eye and reacted just in time, rising her sword horizontally into the air, she blocked another sword. "Earth Meteor." A male voice said, and the ground beneath JO collapsed into a crater.

Crossing blades with JO was another warrior in orange spandex. A black cape hung behind him with an orange symbol upon it. "This battle just became more interesting." He said.

JO's feet began to sink into the ground, as though the earth itself was pulling her in. She thrust her sword forward. "Air Slash!" she shouted and the orange warrior was pushed up slashed at by the wind, the earth's pull ceased, and JO ran from the crater. The orange warrior landed on his feet and charged at JO sword outstretched, JO blocked with her sword, once again trusting it forward for her elemental attack.

"Air Slash!" She yelled and once again the orange warrior was flung forward. This time, however, JO did not wait from him to land and resume his attack.

The wind picked up as he approached the ground and JO charged at him with the busted speed, striking before he could react. He hit the ground hard, and his visor shattered. As he struggled to regain his footing, JO stuck him once again with an air slash, leaving him on his back. She pointed he sword at his neck.

"Surrender." She demanded.

"I could say the same to you." A new voice said.

JO looked up from her battle to see a row of black knights. Standing behind them was the Nerd himself.

"Congratulations Jesu Otaku." He said. "You're the last reviewer to survive my attack. Shit, you even managed to defeat my best minion! I'm afraid however, your luck had run out. Surrender now."

JO looked out in disbelief. The white knights had all been vanquished; piles of white armor were everywhere. Worse, mixed among the piles were reviewers. Most of them were in the hands of black knights, but some of them were corpses.

"H-" JO stuttered "h- how!"

The Nerd laughed. "Show her, my fellow gamers."

All around Kickassians appeared, coming out of invisibility, the only real weapon the Kickassian army. These Kicakssian, however, were gamers of Team Blistered Thumbs. JO looked at them in shock.

"Benzaie?" She whimpered. "Angry Joe? Handsome Tom! It can't be! You sided with the Nerd!"

"C'ést vrai, mademoiselle. Le Nerd est un Dieu parmi notre équipe." Benzaie siad. "Si vous étiez avec nous l'an dernier, vous auriez su ceci."

"For too long we have been second-class citizens in this country." Tom added. "We were forced to do unfair tasks, to be the butt of jokes. It's about time we earn our place in the country we helped build!"

" It can't be!" JO cried. "Angry Joe, you have to be against this; you were sixth in command! You were head of the army!"

"Indeed I was," Joe "but what good is an army if it's never used. Under the Critic my army was cooped up in an acre of land. Under the Nerd, my army will conquer!"

The wind picked up as JO charged at him, a back knight blocked her just in time. Joe laughed.

"You know," he said "I was deeply curious when those white knights showed up. The Critic had apparently found a troop of super powered solders with absolute loyalty, but never bothered to tell me where they came from. I had to find out, so I told the knights to take me to where they came from. They would not; Linkara had already ordered them to disobey me in that case, so instead I asked them to bring me evidence that would allow me to deduce their true nature."

"And so," The Nerd interrupted. "They they brought him this." The Nerd unclenched his fist exposing a white stone.

'That's from the sun temple!" Vixen thought.

The Nerd unclenched his other fist, revealing a black stone. "I found this in a temple of my own. Both stones in hand and my temple became all-powerful. It could fly, control the elements and summon even more knights. I suspect even more powers may be latent within."

JO again charged propelled by the wind, this time at the Nerd, and again the knights blocked her.

"I can see you'll be very difficult to capture alive." He said. "Very well, I'll make this simple." Another gamer appeared behind the Nerd, holding an unconscious Nash. The Nerd held his blaster to Nash's head.

"Surrender yourself and your morpher, or I kill your boyfriend."

There was silence. Tense seconds passed, and then finally JO de-morphed.

"Good girl." The Nerd said. "Now lay down your morpher and back away from it." She complied, and a black Knight collected her morpher.

"Gamers!" The Nerd said. "We have total victory!" The gamers cheered.

"The reviewer scum that has mistreated us will be punished, starting with their last resistance, Jesu Otaku!"

"Are you going to kill me?" JO asked.

"No." He replied. "Not you."

He then shot Nash.

When Vixen awoke she found herself tied to a chair. Standing in front of her was the man that had kidnapped her, a man she now recognized.

"So, you're awake." Handsome Tom said.

Vixen struggled in vain to free herself. "And I thought it was bad to not be able to move in my dreams!" she thought.

"Let's start with the basics." Tom said. "On Saturday April 1st, 2010, you Vixen Nine and you friends Rabbit Bunny and Kagami Chosen reported finding a robot partially buried in the woods. Is this correct?"

Vixen stared at him.

"Quiet eh?" He replied. "This robot did you find it during the day or during the night? Who amoung you and your friends was the first to touch it? Who first noticed it?"

Vixen again remained silent.

"Why do you not answer?" Tom asked. "Your friends quickly complied. I didn't even need to threaten torture. Shall I go that far with you?"

"Torture me if you must Handsome Tom." Vixen said. "I won't cooperate after what you did this to my friends."

"How did you know my name?" Tom replied.

"I saw what you did in Kickassia." She said. "Now you go so far as to take your war to Florida. Screw you!"

Tom was visibly disturbed. He regained his calm and pulled a trigger from his pocket.

"I don't know how you know this," he said "but it makes more urgent I find out everything I can from you. You are sitting in a modified electric chair. I won't kill you, but it will make you wish it would. Now tell me. How do you know who I am?"

Once again Vixen was silent.

"Suit yourself." Tom said, and activated the chair, braking Vixen's silence with a scream of pain. When Tom was satisfied he deactivated the chair and resumed questioning.

"How did you find the robot?"

Vixen was silent. Again she cried out in pain as Tom electrocuted her.

"Have you been in contact with Jesu Otaku or any of her followers?"

The cycle of questioning, silence, and cries of pain continued until finally Vixen lost consciousness.

Once again Vixen found herself in JO's body. She was sitting down on a hard stone floor looking forward onto a set of metal bars. She was in a prison cell.

"They killed him." JO said weakly.

"Cheer up JO" a male voice said. "At least the Glorious Leader is still alive!"

JO looked up at her cellmate. "Screw you Film Brain." She said.

She started crying.

"I hate them!" She shouted. "I hate the gamers! I want them to die!"

"Hatred. Anger. Rage." Another strange voice said. "Powerful emotions. They strengthen the body but poison the mind. A dubious trade for intellectuals like us."

JO and Film Brain both looked through the bars to see a masked figure approach. Vixen had not seen him before, nor did it seem her host had either.

"Who are you?" she asked.

"My name is Malakye," the stranger said, "and it appears we have a common enemy."

Malakye pulled JO's morpher from his pocket and held it through the bars. "I believe this is yours." He said.

JO leapt up and took the morpher. "How did you get this?" She asked.

"For many moons now I have been a loyal servant of the Angry Videogame Nerd." Malakye said. He pulled back his sleeve and exposed a black morpher with an orange stone in the center. "I am the orange warrior you fought against in the invasion."

"D8! Yin Morph Wind!" JO shouted drawing her sword against the neck of the unmorphed Malakye. "You helped the Nerd take this country away. You helped him kill Nash! Give me a good reason why I shouldn't kill you now!" she shouted.

Malakye laughed. "If I were truly your enemy would I have returned your morpher?"He said. "My allegiance was never truly to the Nerd, only to the strongest warrior. In the past, only the Nerd himself has ever defeated me in battle, but today you overcame me as the storm withers away at the stone. Now I seek your help to claim vengeance against the Nerd, the savage who stole this temple from me."

She lowered her weapon. "What is this place?" She asked.

"Right now we stand in the basement of the Moon Temple, an ancient monument to Tuskeyomi, the great god of the moon. I found this place years ago, submerged in the Pacific Ocean, and within in it my morpher and four others just like it."

"Would those morphers happen to have been placed at the five points of an upside-down star drawn on the floor around a statue to the moon god, would they?" JO asked.

"Indeed." Malakye responded. "I take it you found your morpher in a similar shrine to the sun goddess Amatersu?"

"Correct." JO responded.

"That temple then shall be to where we escape." Malakye said. "On the other side of the temple is the Room of Dawn. The writing on it walls tells of a power to move instantaneously to the temple of Amaterasu if one only knows its location."

"Escape! I want vengeance!" JO screamed. "The two of us are Power Rangers! Let's squash the gamers together and retake this country and your temple."

"If only it were that simple." Malakye said. The gamers control powers of invisibility and immortality, not to mention the legions of Black Knights and monsters they can summon. It will take more than two Power Rangers to take them out."

"No!" JO said. "I say we assassinate the Nerd and free the critics."

"JO," Film Brain said. "He's right, its suicide. We need to get out."

"Not before the Nerd!" JO said.

"Why are you like this?" He replied. "I've never known you to be this angry, this temperamental. You used to be smart. Now your anger makes you stupid."

JO finally relented.

'You're right." She said. 'Let's get out of here."

"Air Slash!" she shouted, cutting the bars to pieces. "Lead the way Malakye."

"Very well." He said. "The quickest route is left down the next corridor."

"Can we go another way?" Film Brain asked. "I don't like the feeling I get from that."

"Whatever." Malakye said, apparently not wanting to argue with him. "We can take a return if we keep going straight."

They did. Out of curiosity JO looked down the right-hand corridor as they passed it. Another hallway intersected it further down; on its wall she saw the shadows of a patrolling Black Knights. Vixen's thoughts matched hers. "That guy's good!"

Back in the real world, the other brigadiers arrived at the university. As they entered the parking lot they got their first piece of bad news. A large part of it was blocked off by police.

"I don't like the look of that." Prof said.

Malakye pulled over by the blocked-off area.

"Excuse me, officer," he asked "what happened here?"

"Five students were abducted in broad daylight by guys in black armor."

"Thank you." Malakye responded, and drove away.

"I was afraid this might happen." JO lamented.

"You know," Ark began "we'd have gotten here more quickly if we had teleported."

"It doesn't matter now." Prof said. "We need to make our next move quickly."

"What is our next move?" Arkada asked.

"We need to figure out where the girls were taken." Mal said. "Some of the students likely saw the abduction. We should interrogate them and search the Internet for information on the case."

"Here's hoping we're not too late." Ark said.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

In her dreams Vixen remained in JO's body, standing in front of the statue of Amaterasu with Mal and Film Brain. The statue did not have the white stone Vix had seen earlier.

"So this is the temple to the sun goddess." Malakye said. 'I suspected there might be another when I found the Moon Temple."

"We still have country to save." JO said touching the statue. "And for that we need our own army of knights."

Yet no matter how hard see willed it no knights appeared.

"Are you sure this is how Linkara was able to summon the White Knights?" Malakye asked.

"I'm positive." JO replied. She sighed. "We should have gone back for him."

"That would have been pointless." A familiar voice said.

JO leapt back from the statue as a beam of light descended from the ceiling; within it was the image fo Linkara. "I appreciate the thought though." He said.

Mal stepped back in shock. Film Brain stared idly into space. JO was ecstatic.

"Linkara! You're alive!" JO shouted as she ran forward to hug him. She merely passed through the beam of light.

"Not exactly." He said. "I died in the invasion."

"Then how are you here?" Mal asked.

"I'm not exactly sure." Linkara said. "I think when I touched this statue, a part of me bonded with it. I'm not sure if I would have liked to have fully died, though. I can appear anywhere in this temple, but only in this temple. I suppose it's better though now that I have company."

"I'm so sorry!" JO said. "Are you able to summon White Knights?"

"Yes and No" Linkara said. He snapped his fingers and twelve White Knights appeared. "These knights were left in the temple while all the others I could summon were sent to Kickassia before the invasion. What we had is what we're left with. I'm not sure if it's because of the missing gem or my, erm, current condition. I doubt very seriously these will be enough to retake Kickassia. Speaking of things I'm not sure of, how did you guys get out of there anyway?" Linkara said.

JO explained their escape to him.

"So you arrived here in the Room of Dusk eh?" Linkara said. 'I was translating the writing there, and it said that only a 'chosen one' could use it."

"Are you insinuating Film Brain is a power ranger?" Malakye asked.

"There's only one way to be certain." JO said. "Film Brain, why don't you try out the morphers here?"

Malakye handed him a morpher from his pocket. "I was able to secure this other morpher from the Moon Temple along with JO's and my own." He said. "Try it first."

Film Brain strapped on the morpher and held it high. "D2! Yang Morpher! Water." With that he became the blue ranger, and Vixen woke up.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Vixen awoke once again tied to the chair. This time no one was with her.

"I have to get out of here." She thought.

She saw an opportunity. The ropes that bond her had been charred by her electrocution. She bit down on the rope closest to her mouth and was able to bit through it. She had freed her arm. With that see was able to untie herself. She got up from the chair and approached the door. It was unlocked. She couldn't believe her luck. Had Tom just not expected her to awaken so quickly, or was he just blatantly incompetent. She decided to escape first and ask questions later.

She walked down the hallway. She had no idea where the exit was.

"I hope I don't run into any of those knights out here." Vixen though aloud.

She came to a dead end. On the side there was a cracked door. She peeped in to see if anyone hostile was there. There was, namely Handsome Tom. He was staring a a blank screen.

Vixen was about to fall back when the screen activated, the Nerd's image upon it. "What's new?" he said.

"I have captured the robot girls, master." Handsome Tom replied.

"Has interrogation yielded any results?" The Nerd asked.

"Two of the girls were as ignorant as expected." Tom replied. "One of them, however, proved surprisingly knowledgeable."

"Elaborate." The Nerd demanded.

"She knew who I was, she knew about PWNia, and she knew about the ranger powers." Tom said. "I think she may have been in contact with JO and her team."

"If she has been in contact with JO, why is she not already on her team?" The Nerd asked.

"Perhaps she rejected the call to heroism." Tom guessed. 'At any rate it is strong evidence that she is the new blue ranger."

"Indeed." The Nerd replied.

Vixen was taken aback. She was a ranger like JO? A range of emotions ran through here: fear, anger excitement and more.

"Shall I kill her milord?" Tom asked.

Vixen was afraid again.

"No you shit!" The Nerd raved. "If you kill her another will inherit her power. Bring her back to PWNia, her friends too, just in case. We shall lock them always where JO will never find them."

"Yes master." Tom replied. The screen went black, and Tom began to walk toward the door.

Vixen was about to panic. She noticed a window just a few feet away, sunlight coming through it. She took a gamble and charged into it, breaking the glass. Glass skewered her, but she was outside. She took off running as Tom arrived at the window.

"Black Knights!" he yelled jumping out the window himself. A squad of Black knights appeared. "Seize her!"

Tom chases after Vixen, the slower Knights trailing behind him. A flaming sword struck the ground before her. She turned to dodge it only to see more knights appear in front of her. They grab her.

"Excellent work Black Knights." Tom said. "Bring her back."

Vixen kicked at the knights and struggled to no avail. 'Help!" She screamed. "Someone!"

Then she fell free.

In a flash of light the knights around her were reduced to lifeless piles of armor, and four spandex clad warriors surrounded her. She immediately recognized two of them.

"JO? Malakye? Is that you?" She asked.

"How do you know our names?" Malakye asked.

"Well, well, well, lookie what the fox dragged in." Handsome Tom said. "It appears the Divine Nerd isn't the only one to take interest in college girls and their robots."

"Guys please help." Vixen said. "My friends and I were kidnapped; I think the others are still in there." She pointed to the building she had just escaped from.

"I'm afraid your friends are coming with me, little miss Vixen." Tom replied. The clouds above began to darken. "In the name of the Nerd, I summon a monster from the darkest void." Lightning struck in front of him and skeleton materialized. It wore a jacket and a hockey-mask, and held a sword in its right hand.

"Kill all of them!" Tom commanded.

The skeleton charged at them. JO ran forward boosted by the wind and their swords clashed. Prof and Ark took aim at the remaining Black Knights.

"Fire Dragon!"

"Lightning Blitz!"

The knights were engulfed in fire and Lightning, most of them dying, the few that remained charged forward to do melee with the rangers. Malakye however, remained with Vixen.

"You knew my name." He said to her. "How?"

"I see you in my dreams." Vixen answered.

"How romantic!" Malakye replied.

Vixen slapped him.

"Not like that you pervert!" She yelled. "When I go to sleep I dream that I'm someone else, that I'm in their body but I can't control what they do. For the last few nights I've been dreaming I was JO."

She slapped him again.

"That's for Kickassia!"

Malakye de-morphed. Vixen slapped him again, this time actually hurting him.

"What was that for?" He whined.

"A redux of the first one for now that I can actually hurt you." Vixen replied. "I still owe you one." She slapped him again, this time knocking him over.

Malakye got up.

"My colleges and I came here in search of a new member, one chosen by Tsukeyomi." He said. "The robot your friends found was a sign of his favor, and your 'dreams' leave no doubt," he pulled Film Brain's morpher from his pocket, "that he has chosen you to be the new blue ranger."

Vixen took the morpher from him. "What happened to the old blue ranger, to Film Brain?" She asked.

"He is dead." Malakye replied. "He died fighting the Nerd."

Vixen gasped. "No way!" She said. "Then we have to avenge him." She strapped on her new morpher and held it high. "D2! Yang Morph! Water!" In the warped moment that followed the water engulfed Vixen. She was ecstatic to feel that transformation again after twice feeling it though JO, and like with JO and others, her element replaced her body in her mind, as though she was the water. When the moment was over she was warring the same outfit Film Brain had in her dreams, the armor of the blue ranger.

She charged forward toward the skeleton monster and threw her sword. "Water Rapier!"

Marrow leaked from the skeleton's bones and floated back toward Vixen.

"Ew!" She said, and sent it hurtling back at super-speed. It collided with the skelton hurtling him back. JO struck too. "Air Slash!" The skeleton hit the ground.

"Nice work!" JO said to Vixen.

"Omigod JO!" Vixen squeed! "I saw you kick so much ass in Kickassia! I'm so honored to fight beside you!"

JO was speechless.

Vixen sweetdroped. "You're probably wondered what I'm talking about aren't you?" She asked.

The skeleton rose to its feet.

'We can clear that up later." Jo said. She stuck out her sword in front of Vixen. "Cross blades with me." Vixen complied.

"It's time for a combo attack." JO said as new knowledge filled Vixen's mind. They both cried out together "Storm Attack! Tidal Surge!" The wind picked up behind them and a giant wave appeard in front of them, it surged forward at the skeleton hitting it hard and crushing it bones to dust.

Ark and Prof were also winning, the last of the Black Knights falling along with the skeleton. Malakye approached Handsome Tom re-morphed. "Surrender now." He said. Tom laughed.

As with the lion's defeat in Indiana, the clouds began to clear with the skeleton's death. Unlike with the lion however the clouds did not reveal a rising sun, but a mid day sun ecplised by the moon.

"This can't be." Mal exclaimed. "The next eclipse around here shouldn't be for years!"

"My god has learned a new power as well." Tom said. "Let his mastery of the sun and moon show you he is stronger than the gods that empower you, and let his mastery of the Tao restore life to his fallen servant."

A beam of light came from the eclipse and struck the skeleton's remains. Tom spoke "In the name of the Nerd I harness the power of the sun and the moon, light and dark, yin and yang! Revive my fallen warrior more powerful than before!"

The skeleton's was reborn. Worse, it began to grow. In seconds it was the size of a large building..

"This stinks." Prof said.

"I leave you to you fate." Tom said, and he disappeared in a flash of lightning

Arkada raised his sword. "Lightning Blitz!" He shouted. Lighting rose up from his sword into the clouds and crashing down upon the giant came a flurry of lightning bolts. They did virtually nothing.

"That was our strongest attack." Mal said.

"I may not be the leader yet." Prof said. "But I think it best we…"

"RUN!" JO shouted. The rangers ran into the woods. Vixen had an idea.

'Guys follow me!" She said taking a turn to the left.

"I vote we head for the van and get away fast." Ark said.

JO turned toward Mal. "Can we trust her?" She asked.

"I think so." He replied.

JO ran the way Vixen had gone.

"Come this way." She said. 'I think I know where she's taking us."

The ranger ran did into the forest, the skeleton knocking down trees in pursuit behind them. It wasn't as slow as the knights, but the brigade could still outrun it. They soon reached a clearing, the robotic head of a fox stuck out from the ground. Its nose was its cockpit, already opened.

"So this is it." Prof said. "The mech you reported finding."

"Yep." Vixen replied.

Malakye reached down and touched the ground.

"There is more." He said. "I can fell more mecha beneath the fox, at least four."

"The cockpit to that thing is open." JO noted. "Does that mean you've been inside it?"

"Yes." Vixen said. "I haven't been able to actually pilot it, though."

The skeleton immerged into the clearing.

"You'd better figure it out fast!" Prod said.

Vixen leap into the cockpit, its door slamming shut behind her. The mech immediately began to stir. The skeleton was unimpressed it charged toward the brigade and sword its sword to the ground, just in time for it to be grabbed by the fox's mouth, the full robot rising up from the Earth. Vixen was amazed at her newfound ability to pilot it. The controls were meaningless. It responded to her thoughts.

"Quickly brigadiers!" JO began "get in the other mechs while she holds the monster back."

The sword shattered in the fox's mouth. The skeleton then leap back and kicked the fox zord from under the neck, knocking it backward. The zord landed and pounced at the Skelton, clawing at its jacket. It pushed the zord back and regenerated its sword. The fox landed on its side, its opponent lunging at it sword in hand, but the sword stopped just above the fox's neck.

"Huh!" Vixen said inside her mech. She then notice debris flying past the mech and then the skeleton. She looked back and there on the other side of her was giant robot shaped like an owl flapping its wings rapidly, producing a gale. A screen on her control panel activated, showing the image of JO in a similar cockpit.

"I believe Film Brain had Prof in a similar situation the other day." She said. "Let's hope it doesn't get any more similar."

Other robots began rising out of the hole the fox zord had covered. First came a platypus. As it rose the screen split revealing Professor Otaku in its cockpit. Flying up next came a narwhal, Ark's image appearing, and finally a wolf, Malakye finishing a quad-view. With Malakye's appearance a new icon appeared on the screen;' it read "Union Mode Activate."

"Thanks for holding him back ladies." Prof said. "Guys, let's finish it."

The mouths of all three zords opened and balls of light accumulated within them.

"Fire!" Prof yelled, and laser beams shot from the word's moths, striking the skeleton and sending it flying backward. It landed on its feet, unamused.

'What do we have to do to kill this thing!" Ark whined.

"Wanna try out 'Union Mode'?" Vixen asked.

"I'd say it's worth a shot." Prof said.

"Defiantly." JO added.

All five brigadiers mashed the icon on their screen. The image changed. It had only the message "Union Mode Active."

The zords began to reconfigure. JO's owl was the first. Its head and feet retracted into its body, the head reemerging from its front side. Vixen and Mal's zords changed similarly, the legs also retracting intot he body along with the tails. The heads however rotated 180 degrees, and the zords bonded with JO's, where the tails had been to where the feet had been. Prof's and Ark's zords changed the least, the linbs retracted, but nothing else happened. They bonded with sides of JO's mech tail-region first. In the cockpits of their mecha all five brigadiers' seats were pulled back into the robot's interior. Finally, rising out from the neck of JO's robot came a new head, that of a lion, with all five brigadiers inside.

"I gotta say," Ark began "that was wicked cool!"

The skeleton monster charged forward at them, sword outreached. Arkada blocked with the horn of his robot.

"Best sword ever!" He raved.

The bill of Prof's mech began to rotate at ultra-high speeds… like a chainsaw.

"My zord is weird." Prof noted. He then rammed the chain-saw-bill into the side of the skeleton. "But fucking awesome!"

The skelton began to flee.

"We can't let it do that sat fox." Malakye said. Vixen seemed to agree as the heads of both of their mecha, now the feet of the larger robot sank into the ground, and immerged at the skeleton's ankles, biting them and holding down, preventing the monster from running away.

The beast secure, Vixen threw her sword at, Malakye shattering his visor.

"Ow!" Malakye whinned.

"Be glad I don't give you a Water Rapier after that pun." Vixen replied.

Outside, Prof sawed away at the skeleton's rib cage, cutting it in half. The lower body fell lifelessly to the ground, collapsing into dust. The top half, however, floated in place and thrust its sword at the megazord's chest. JO responded quickly flapping her zord's wings and blowing the half-skeleton back.

"I say it's time we finish it." JO said.

The megazord lifted into the air, balls of light forming in all six of its mouths.

"Five-Star Hex!" The brigadiers ciread out, and six beams of light launched forward at the skeleton, vaporizing it. They had a kill.

"Hell yeah!" Arkada cheered.

"We need to see about my friends now!" Vixen said.

"Agreed." JO said, and she flew the megazord back to the building where they had found her. Once they were above it, the brigadiers found themselves on the ground once more un-morphed.

"What happened to the robots?" Prof asked as Vixen ran in ahead of them

"Look at your wrists." Malakye said his eyes on his morpher.

His teammates did. Inside the once monochrome crystals at the center of their morphers were now the outlines of their zords.

"That could make accessing them a lot easier." Prof noted.

"What do you think it means?" JO asked. "That the mehca were meant to go with our powers?"

"Don't our powers come from gods, deities hundreds of years old?" Arkada asked. 'I've never heard of gods making robots."

"Well," Prof thought "they are Japanese."

"They are a sign indeed." Malakye said "but mortals can see signs from god in mundane things. Who knows their true nature?"

"Rabbit! Kagami!" Vixen shouted inside the building. "Snuggle Slut! Fenrir! Where are you!"

"Come on guys Vixen will need our help," JO said "especially if there are still Black Knights around."

They searched the compound for hours, but they found no one. The place was empty. Tom had left, and taken everyone with him.

Vixen was on the ground crying when the others found her. She looked up and saw JO.

"He's going to do terrible things to them isn't he?" She asked.

JO sighed. "The Nerd killed my lover to punish me for defying him, I can't honestly say he'll treat your friends any better."

'Then I have to save them!" Vixen said. "I know what you're going to ask me JO. I will gladly come with you. Let's retake Kickassia and save all of our friends!"

"You know about Kickassia!" Prof questioned.

"She told me she was living out JO's life in her dreams." Malakye said.

The other brigadiers were stunned by this, JO most of all.

"We have a lot of catching up to do." She said.

Prof grinned. "I was expecting her to have to catch up with us, not the other way around!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Next time on D2 Sentai! Brigade Ranger!

Dark plots are reveled as Mickey is rewarded for the defeat of Film Brain. Arkada's back-story is revealed as Vixen continues her bizarre dreams. What's up with those anyway? Find out next time in Chapter 3: Siege of the North!


	3. Seige of the North

In a warm Louisianan hotel room, Vixen sat on the edge of her bed looking out into the night. She sighed. "I promise you Rabbit," she said "and all the others, I'll save you."

She felt a hand on her shoulder she looked up to see JO.

"I know how you feel." JO said. "I have friends too back in Kickassia."

"What are we going to do for them?" Vixen asked. "How are we going to stop the Nerd?"

JO sighed. "At this point I really don't know." She said. "The Nerd's followers outnumber us, and they've shown they can take us one-on-one. For know all we can do is react to what the Nerd does. He hasn't sent his whole army on any mission. We think he's afraid we'll attack Kickassia while he's away if he does that. All we really can do is try to pick off the Nerd's minions one by one."

Vixen sighed. "SO we'll always be on the defensive, never to attack?"

"Not never." JO said. "Sooner or later we're going back to Kickassia. I will retake my country, and I will avenge Nash, no matter what it takes."

Vixen smiled.

"I guess its time for bed now." JO said… she then realized the implications of that statement.

"I really don't mean to invade your memories at night." Vixen said. "I swear I have no control over it."

"It's alright." JO said. "Really it is. It was kind creepy when I didn't know how you knew everything, but by now I'm just rolling with the punches."

"You don't think of it as an invasion of privacy?" Vixen asked. "I'd be furious if I found out someone was doing this to me."

"We're a team now Vixen." JO said. "It is good that you learn all you can about me. Besides, this way there's no need for us all to explain everything to you."

"What happens to you next anyway?" Vixen asked. "After all that's been thrown at me, I'd rather be ready for my next dream than be surprised."

"The next few days after the escape were uneventful." JO said. "Arkada joined the group on our first mission. We didn't really seek him out; we just kind of bumped into him. Finding him so quickly was what inspired us to look for more chosen ones."

"Thanks." Vixen replied as she turned off the light.

XXXXXXX

As Vixen fell asleep her perspective shifted. Instead of lying down she sat, looking at an active TV.

"Here we go again." She thought.

Things were different this time though, she felt much larger than in previous dreams. The Nevadan heat she had felt then was replaced by a strange chill. Worst of all was a unknown feeling rubbing against her legs.

"Oh my god!" Vixen thought. "I'm a guy now, aren't I?"

"Next up on Manime Monday! Gaizoku Sentai Gokaiger! Sit your ass down for asskicking pirate-rangers! After the brake, more Hellsing Ultimate. Guaranteed to make your balls bigger! Warning: Does not actually make your balls bigger."

"Good god that show is awesome!" Arkada raved.

"Specifically I'm Arkada." Vixen thought. "Why am I Arkada now!"

Arkada was un-phased by the guest he harbored in his mind. He was less than un-phased however as a new commercial rolled around.

"This is the Great Kanto Desert. During the day the temperatures soar above 120 degrees in the shade. During the night they take a nose-dive well below freezing. These ruins are from a forgotten civilization that collapsed under the weight of its thoughtlessness and greed several hundred years ago… but no, no, no that's not what you're here for. You're here for the tits! The tatas! The STONKING GREAT MILK JUGS!"

Vixen felt the unknown feeling on her legs intensify.

"And here I thought kissing a strange guy was disturbing…" Vixen whined inside of Arkada.

"There's a party in my pants and everyone's coming!" The screen blared out.

"Desert Punk. Coming next fall to Manime Monday."

"Ding Dong!" The doorbell rang. It was followed by the sound of a package hitting the ground.

"A package! I love packages!" Arkada squeed. He open the door picked up the package and shook it to predict its contents.

"DVD's," he continued "that's even better! This will be fun." He shook it again. "It sounds like death and danger! It sounds bad. Danger! Danger!" He began to open it. "Is there blood? Who's getting shot? Who's killing who? I have to see! Things are really starting to get exiting! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!" He opened it fully. "NO! NO! NO! NO!"

The DVD's were in fact, School Days.

He smashed them onto the floor.

"NO! NO! NO! NO!"

Soon they were shattered along with the box.

"DAMN YOU RIGHT STUFF!" He yelled.

"I wonder which is crazier." Vixen thought inside of him. "Canadian postage or a particular Canadian."

Satisfied with the destruction of the mis-posted DVD's, Arkada began to calm down.

HE sighed. "I wish I did have more danger in my life; that things really would get exiting." He said. "Of course that only happens on TV."

The TV did not pause during Arkada's break down. "Beterarium Deus. Mons dormio Deus, Renuntio decerto terra agminatim. Nobis spiritus!" It cried out.

"Oh yes!" Arkada yelled. "More Hellsing!"

XXXXXX

Vixen finally awoke to the sound of knocks on the door. JO apparently had also been awakened as she got up to answer it. All three of the male brigadiers were waiting on the other side.

"We need to talk JO." Prof said "Did it happen to you too?" He seemed more than little bit annoyed.

"Did what happen to me?" JO asked.

"You didn't have the dreams?" He replied.

"The dreams!" JO gasped. "Are you guys telling me the same thing that happened to Vixen is happening to you?"

"To me it is." Professor Otaku replied. "I just lived out your battle with Angry Joe. For the other guys, it was a little different."

"In my dream I was Prof." Arkada said. "It was the night he found Squidward."

"I was Vixen in my dream." Malakye said. "She was having a slumber party with her now captured friends."

"MALAKYE!" Vixen yelled.

"Hide me." Malakye whimpered.

"Drop it Vixen." JO demanded. She complied.

"I take it this means you're not having the dreams." Prof noted.

"No dreams here." JO said. "I'm really not sure what to say to all this."

"JO's lack of dreams is evidence that they are not connected to our ranger powers." Malakye said. "I do think it desirable we find out what is causing them."

"Can it really be so bad?" JO asked.

"I was a woman!" Prof shouted. "I am not having your periods while I sleep!"

"Hey!" JO shouted, obviously not amused. This time it was Vixen who diffused the situation.

"In my dream tonight I was Arkada." She said. "I was more than a little freaked out by inhabiting the body of the opposite sex too."

"Future leader my ass." JO thought. Overtly though see let it slide. "We are a team you know, like brothers in arms." She said. "I think it's a good thing that we learn all we can about each other."

"The scope of these dreams is unknown." Malakye said. "By the time it's all over, if it ever is over, we could easily know everything there is to know about each other."

"Glad to know you agree Malakye." JO said.

"That's actually why I disagree." Mal replied. He motioned toward Prof. "Tell me, do you really want all of us to know _everything_ about you."

…

"You're right." JO said. "We have to stop this."

"Great!" Prof snarked. "Any ideas?"

"I've never seen anything like this before." She said. "I have some advanced equipment back at the Sun Temple as does Linkara. I think he'll know what to do. The best explanation I have for why I'm not dreaming is a, well, experiment he and Spoony once did with me. All I can realistically say right now is wait until we arrive there."

"But we're not even half way back…" Arkada whined.

"We'll double up tomorrow's trip." She said. "Unless of course you'd like to leave now."

The others sighed.

"It's going to be a long night." Prof whinned.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

In the Moon Temple, Handsome Tom and 8-Bit Mickey approached the man they called God.

"Tell me again," the Nerd said "what relation do you two have to each other?"

"We call ourselves the Game Heroes." Handsome Tom replied. "We worked together closely under the Critic. 8-Bit Mickey was directly beneath me in the old hierarchy. Under your more benevolent reign the hierarchy is no more, but we both still think of me as first among equals."

"Tell me then." The Nerd asked. "Why is it he has so vastly outperformed you?"

"What?" Tom asked. "Not again…" he thought.

"In his mission in Indiana, 8-Bit Mickey not only successfully searched down JO and Film Brain but was able to kill the later in battle." He replied. "In your mission, not only did you allow the new blue ranger to escape but to join up with Jesu Otaku thus undoing everything your 'servant' had accomplished. What the fuck is wrong with you? As if that weren't enough, you then turned tail and ran like a shitty coward while you had the upper-hand and let the brigadiers find a giant robot! You have failed me Handsome Tom, and I do not take kindly to failure."

"Forgive me my god!" Tom groveled.

"You suck diarrhea shit!" The Nerd yelled. He looked at Mickey. "8-Bit Mickey, it is you that deserves to command Handsome Tom. Take from him anything you wish, be it power or wealth. I will take what is left."

Mickey looked down at Tom and then up at the Nerd, then back at Tom and sighed.

"Divine Nerd," he said looking back up "I do not wish to gain anything of Tom's."

"Oh really?" The Nerd said. "I value your loyalty but I must ask, is it to me or to Tom?"

"My loyalty is only to you my god," Mickey replied, "but I have other wishes."

The Nerd laughed. "Very well." He said. "What is it you desire?"

"Revenge," Mickey said. "The Frenchman Benzaie challenged my honor and the honor of the Game Heroes during the Critic's reign. I ask that it be him and not Tom that feel your wrath."

"Benzaie has not failed me." The Nerd said. "Why should I punish him on your will?"

"Because I am stronger than he is." Mickey replied. "He lost his challenge; both about me and against Tom. We can serve you far better than he."

The Nerd was intrigued. "I will send Benzaie on the next mission." He began. "If he succeeds, my original verdict will stand, but if he fails he shall receive the punishment for both Tom's failure and his own."

Mickey fell to his knees. "Thank you my god." He said. "All praises be to the Divine Nerd!" Tom echoed.

The Nerd grunted. "You're not out of the woods yet Handsome Tom. Benzaie still must be tested. I will say though, you are quite lucky to know 8-Bit Mickey." He said. "Now, both of you leave me."

"Yes Divine Nerd." Both Mickey and Tom say getting up and leaving.

Once clear of the Nerd's hearing Tom turned to Mickey.

"8-Bit Mickey," he said "it was not you that Benzaie insulted; it was me. Why is it that you turned down the Divine Nerd's reward for my honor?"

"Your honor is my honor, Handsome Tom." Mickey replied. "I respect you too much to see you shamed both by Benzaie and by God."

Tom was touched. "To anyone but God, I would have called you my servant," He said, "but now I can't help but call you my friend. Forgive me 8-Bit Mickey. In my jealousy I have forgotten the bond we once had. Is there anything I can do to repay you?"

"You need do nothing," Mickey replied, "friend."

XXXXXX

"Are we there yet?" Arkada asked.

"Are you seriously going to play that game?" Prof replied.

"Actually it's a legitimate question." Malakye said. "The temple is invisible remember, and dirt roads in the Sierra Nevada are kind of nondescript."

"We should be there any second now." JO said, prompting Malakye to decelerate. "I remember exactly where it is."

As if on cue stone walls materialized around them as the van drew to a stop.

"Wow!" Vixen chirped.

JO exited the van. "Come on out guys." She said. "I have to guide you through the maze."

"Maze?" Vixen asked.

"Yep." Prof groaned.

The bottom of the Sun Temple was an elaborate maze. A similar structure existed in the bottom of the Moon Temple, wherein the Nerd had converted dead ends into prison cells, the maze adding an extra layer of security. Malakye had memorized the layout of that maze, but the Sun Temple's equivalent still eluded him. Although he and Ark had began to become familiar with it, only JO knew it by heart.

"I was annoyed by it at first too," JO said in response to Prof "but I've come to think of it as a security measure, a last line of defense should the Nerd or someone else try to infiltrate the temple."

She led them down several pathways to a flight of stairs. They ascend two floors to room full of computers. An ethereal new face awaited them there.

"Welcome back brigadiers." Linkara said. He looks at Vixen. "I take it you must be the new fifth ranger. Vixen is it? I recognize you from the article."

"Yep that's me," Vixen said "Linkara."

"I take it the others told me about you. Good idea." He replied. "Prof freaked out when he first saw me. Intangible light people are kinda rare."

"Actually we never mentioned you." Prof snarked. "She spend the whole trip back explain to us how she knew so much about you."

Linkara was surprised. "How could she have?" He asked.

"We were hoping you might know." Vixen replied. "For the last few nights I've been living out the other brigadiers' lives in my dreams. At first it was just JO, but then last night I was Arkada."

"Not only that," Prof interjected "but that night I was JO, Arkada was me, and Malakye was Vixen."

"I don't know how or why any of this is happening and it kinda scares me," Vixen said "but JO seemed to think you might be able to explain it."

Linkara sighed. "I have indeed encountered something similar to this before. He said. "JO, can you scan her?"

"Of course." JO said and picked a barcode-scanner-esque attachment to one of the computers.

"What's that thing?' Vixen asked.

"Hold still." JO replied and activated it, shooting a red light at Vixen's head. An image then appeared on the computer screen. It showed a wire-frame map of a human brain. A single light flashed within it.

"I suspected as much." Linkara said. "Vixen, inside of your brain is a special kind of micro-computer device. One designed to allow people to telepathically command mecha."

"You think this is what's causing my weird dreams?" Vixen inquired. "You say you've encountered this before?"

"Before there was a country called Kickassia, its founders, including myself embarked on adventures of our own, both by ourselves and together." Linkara began. "Two of the founders, Spoony and myself, came into possession of mech of our own, Neutro. It was the most powerful weapon I had even seen. Unfortunately was easily hacked. We feared evil doers would find a way to control it. We attempted to circumvent this problem by developing a control system that was unhackable. The best way to do this was to use the world's most advanced computer, the human brain. The devise inside of your mind is very similar to a computer ship Spoony developed. He and I implanted ourselves with such chips and were able to control mecha telepathically, however we soon experienced a side effect. As the chips liked machine to man they also liked people who had them. He and I began to experience each other's memories in our dreams. He did however, develop a cipher that blocked this, and the experiment was declared a total success. When I JO became my apprentice I implanted her with such a devise, wanting to share this gift with her. Neutro was destroyed in battle during the invasion of Kickassia, but the controller seems to have remained fully functional, continuing to broadcast JO's memories."

"Vixen, when did you begin to have these dreams?" Malakye inquired.

"The night right after I found the robots." She replied.

"Then everything fits." JO said. "We could control the mecha Vixen found telepathically. They must have implanted us with these devises. That's why we all started having the dreams after we controlled them, all of us except for me who had Linkara's cipher."

"Tell me you can give us all the cipher." Professor whined. "I'd like to be able to go to sleep without growing boobs."

"Unlike Spoony, I am not a scientist." Linkara said. "I can't make more chips to implant you with. I have a few left over, but not enough for all of you. The closest thing I can do is try to modify the cipher for the devises in your heads and download it into them via scanner.

"How long will that take?" Arkada asked.

"A couple of days to a couple of hours," Linkara said "depending on whether of not one of you will let me scan their chip during one of your 'dreams.'"

Vixen stepped forward.

"The dreams started with me." She said. "They might as well end with me too."

"All right." Linkara said. "JO will act as my hands. Everything you see in your dreams will be visible to us on a computer screen. Will you be able to fall asleep on this table in here or should we bring in a bed?"

Vixen laid down on the table.

"We've been driving for 19 hours to avoid these dreams." She replied. "Heck, we started last night. After that long it should be easy to fall asleep now."

"How long does it take for someone to fall asleep anyway?" Arkada asked.

"I know how make it occur faster." Prof said.

"How's that?" Vixen asked.

"QUICK HITS!" He yelled.

QUACK!

XXXXXXXXXXXX

As Vixen fell asleep her position changed hopefully for the last time. She was standing up straight in Arkada's body tending a… narwhal peanut butter stand?

"Come on down and buy Arkada's Narwhal Peanut Butter!" He shouted. "Fresh from the Arctic Tundra this low calorie treat is good with any meal or snack! Morning? Evening? Whenever it may be this all Canadian delicacy is sure to give you the strength to beat two ton narwhals to death! 10% of the profits go to the beat the whales to death foundation! So what are you waiting for! Buy it now!"

"I'd buy it." Vixen thought.

The passers-by were less intrigued. Most of them just ignored him.

"Slow business day?" Vixen questioned. Her question however was soon answered when a would-be customer pulled over in a police cruiser.

"Hey kid," An officer said getting out. "You sell peanut butter on a stand?"

"Absolutely! It's made from Narwhals!" Arkada replied. "I beat them up all the time."

"Narwhals?" The officer asked. "You realize those things live in the Arctic Ocean. I swear I see you out here every day."

"What's so odd about that." Arkada said. "This is Canada."

"This is Toronto." The officer replied. 'The Arctic Ocean is on the other side of the country. DO you seriously not understand the size of this land!"

"Umm…" Arkada stuttered. "Would you believe I commute?"

"Even if you regularly went up there, how do you find the narwhals?" his opponent continued "Do you jump in the ocean to die of hypothermic shock or wait for them wash up on the beach? Either way these things way like two tons. Good luck fighting one, especially in the water."

…

…

He then died.

Vixen laughed.

…

…

"Oh shit!" She thought.

A flaming sword pocked through the officer's chest as he fell to the ground. Arkada looked out in shock to see a Black Knight standing in front of him, seeming to have appeared from nowhere. The officer's partner leapt forms his car with his gun pointing straight at the knight.

"Hands in the air now!" He yelled.

The knight ignored him and marched directly toward the naïve officer. He opened fire, but the bullets bounced off harmlessly, not even denting its armor. The knight reached the officer, grabbed him by the neck, and ripped off his head.

Arkada ran for it. Everyone else in site was running in panic, trying to find a safe place. They would find it very hard. Just a few blocks away, traffic crumbled to a halt as another crowd collided with Arkada's. He struggled the side and into a crack between buildings, allowing the others to pass by as the crowds seemed to fight for right of way. The crowd fleeing opposite his seemed to win as the entire mass quickly began fleeing their way. Arkada saw why. On the next block down the building were on fire, black fire. Several Black Knights were in pursuit of the fleeing crowd. Arkada hid in the shadows and the Knights passed him by, seeming not to notice him. He drew a sigh of relief and started back in his original direction. Arkada quickly found it was impossible to proceed, however, as the fire was spreading, blocking his path. He turned around headed back toward the stand. Arriving there he saw it engulfed in black flame. The fire had spread to it from the fallen officer, who by now was a pile of ash. The buildings behind the stand had also started to burn. A Black Knight was waiting here, the same one he had first encountered. Several dead bodies were scattered around it.

"Did that knight stay here just to kill people who fled the others?" Vixen thought.

The Knight charged toward him. Arkada ran forward toward the Knight.

"Is he about to do what I think he's about to do!" Vixen thought inside of him.

Arkada leapt over the fallen officer, pulling the knight's sword from his ashes. He hit the ground rolling and slashed at the knight's leg as he rolled beneath it. The leg came off.

The knight behind him struggled to keep balance and fell to the ground. Arkada walked back toward the knight, ready to strike the killing blow.

"I guess swords are better than guns?" Vixen thought. She then reminded herself the sword emitted black fire. "Maybe magic swords are I guess."

Arkada stabbed the Black Knight several times, and it collapsed into a pile of lifeless armor.

"Did I just do that?" He thought aloud. "Oh my god I just killed a bad guy! This is the best day of my life!"

…

He then remembered his city was burning down.

"Okay maybe not." He said.

XXXXX

In the real world the other Brigadiers watched the dream unfold.

"Incredible!" Professor Otaku said. "You managed to kill a Black Knight unmorphed!"

"What can I say?" Arkada boasted "I'm just that good."

"Tell me," Mal inquired. "Why do you think it was that Vixen sees Arkada's memories now?"

"Didn't we just have this discussion?" Arkada replied.

"No." Malakye said. "We know why she views the memories of one of us, but why you in particular? Why is it that she should find herself in Arkada's body twice in a row now? For that matter why did any of us dream ourselves the particular person we did?"

"I was really curious about where Prof's squid came from." Arakda said. "Do you think the chips show us what we want to see?"

"It is possible." Malkye said. "Vixen did after all wish to visit a far away land."

"Tell me then," Prof responded "what is it you want to _see_?"

Malakye did not answer.

"I'm really glad Vixen can't hear us right now." He thought.

XXXX

Arkada scouted through the alleys. He wanted a plan. He didn't have many options thought. The city was crawling with Black Knights. They had him vastly outnumbered, and he suspected outclassed. His best option, he thought, was to find Knights on their own and attack them guerrilla-style, but yet his curiosity prevented him.

Glancing out the alley he saw a peculiar site around a museum. In was encircled by stationary Black Knights. It looked like they were guarding it. Why would they do that? The Knights he'd encountered thus far seemed only interested in destruction and killing. He had to find out.

Sneaking around back Arkada saw only one Knight guarding a window. He threw his sword at it. It struck the knight as it ignited in black fire and the knight crumbled. He ran toward the knights remains and reclaimed his sword, and used it to break up the window.

The inside of the museum was dark. It appeared few knights were on the inside as Arkada encountered none as he navigated through the halls. Why had the knights wanted to protect this place? There was a clue in that all around the floor were open boxes and overturned exhibits. Had they been looking for something? If so why weren't they still here?

"Maybe they found it." He thought aloud.

"Who found what?" Vixen wondered inside of him.

Arkada got his answer as he approached a two story room. It was the museums main lobby. A balcony was above him supported by marble columns, one of which he hid behind. On the other side of it, two black knights stood behind an unarmored man. Two AK-47's were tied to the man's back. In front of him was large TV screen. The screen came to life as new image appeared. Arkada could not have recognized it, but by now Vixen knew this trick.

"Angry Joe," the Angry Video Game Nerd said, "Why have you not returned to PWNia? Have you still not completed your mission?"

"I've completed the mission." Joe replied. He held up his prize. "I have Susanoo's Orb."

In Angry Joe's hand, or rather, hovering directly above it was a globe depicting the Earth's geography. Two metal rings encircled it, suspended above the surface. Each ring had a small disk attached to it, one resembling the sun, the other the moon. The two disks were both over the same location.

"I then repeat my question." The Nerd said. "Why have you not returned to PWNia?"

"I want to raze this city." Angry Joe answered. "In the end I want to raze this whole shitty country, but Toronto is a nice start."

"That orb is a piece of the now lost Storm Temple." The Nerd said. "Do you have any idea what powers is might contain! I want it back in PWNia now!"

"Come on!" Joe whined. "You wanted to test the knights against a modern army as much as I do. Just let me stay until the troops show up. We already know they're immune to bullets, I bet the pwn heavy artillery too."

"And how do you plan to leave the city if they don't?" The Nerd inquired.

"I'll figure that out if it comes to it;" said Angry Joe "after all I've got a fancy new orb. Best way to find out what it can do is in battle!"

"I'm not even that concerned about the army showing up." The Nerd said. "This is the information age Joe, how long do you think it will be before Malakye and the reviewers he freed find out what you're doing. They have the power to teleport you know."

"I'll take my chances." Joe said. He took a sarcastic tone. "Divine Nerd."

"If you lose that orb don't bother ever returning to PWNia." The Nerd threatened. "Come back without it and I'll raze you alive." He then cut the transmission.

"What the hell is PWNia?" Arkada thought.

Susanoo's orb began to react. The ring containing the sun like disk began to shift. It rotated several degrees and the sun disk moved along it. When it stopped the sun was over Toronto.

"Hmmm," Angry Joe thought aloud "what might this mean?"

"Air Slash!" A female voice shouted.

Joe did not reacted in time, bit his guards did. One of the Black knights stepped into the attack collapsing into a pile of armor. The second knight drew its sword, but it to fell immediately as Malakye leapt at it from the shadows."Earth Meteor!" He said crushing the knight into the ground. Joe pulled his machine gun and began shooting at the orange warrior as JO leapt between them from the shadows. The bullets bounced off her harmlessly. "Air Slash!" She yelled out once again. This time, however, Joe reacted in time to sidestep the attack.

He laughed. "Well well well, it looks like the traitor and his girlfriend has a soft spot for the Canucks."

"You have no business calling anyone a traitor Angry Joe." JO replied.

"Black Knights!" Joe yelled. A large number for them then immerged from the shadows. "I should warn you," He continued, "My knights have you completely surrounded."

"True," JO said drawing her sword, "but I do wonder how effective they'll be after my elemental attack decapitates their leader."

"Knights aren't he only thing I can summon." Joe said in defiance. "In the name of the Nerd I summon a monster from the darkest void!"

Lightning crashed through the ceiling and from it came another skeleton, this one with its bones on fire and metal spikes extending from its fingers. Joe fell back into the corridor as the monster charged toward the brigade spikes outstretched. Malakye blocked with is sword as JO attempted to give chase to Angry Joe, but the summon leapt backward and slashed at her. She also blocked just in time.

"Earth Meteor!" Malakye shouted. He leapt forward at the skeleton. It blocked the attack, but like the knight, it too sank into the ground as a crater formed around it. Unlike the knight however, JO had no interest in continuing to fight it. With Mal holding it back she ran down the corridor with speed boosted by the wind. Her target was Angry Joe. It paid off, as the encircling knights retreated into the shadows. Joe's safety was their first priority.

The skeleton screeched as it push back at Malayke, but pushing back only increased the Earth's pull, within seconds it was submerged up to its waste.

"You funeral is overdue skeleton." Malakye mocked. "The Earth shall entomb you, as the rocks crush your bones."

"The one that I fought was a lot tougher." Vixen thought. "Either the Nerd hasn't figured out all he can do yet, or Malakye hasn't."

It turned out to be the later as the monster's shadow extended behind Malakye and an ethereal copy of the monster rose from it and slashed at Malakye's back. He leapt over the skeleton turning to face the shadow and blocking its blows with his sword. No longer being crushed by Mal's attack, the skeleton dived willingly into the ground.

Malakye landed. "You cannot hide from me in the ground." He said. It did not intend to.

The shadow swooped down on Malakye spikes first. He blocked with his sword, but the shadow had him pinned down. The skeleton emerged beneath him spiking his jaw. Malakye fell back as his visor shattered, the shadow striking him again. He barely was able to regain his footing as the skeleton dug in once again. He had lost. He knew he could not block both of them. The shadow swooped dawn once again, and the skeleton tunneled up. Malakye pointed his sword downward. He would not lose to an attack from his own element.

His salvation came with the sound of a rocket as a flaming sword struck the shadow blasting it to the side as black fire engulfed it. As the skeleton emerged Malakyes blade slashed off its arm. When it was fully emerged eh slashed off its head. He then fell to the ground and demorphed.

"One mask reveals another." Arkada said. "Don't suppose I can get a thank you for bailing you out."

"Who are you?" Malakye asked.

"I'm just a concerned citizen." Arkada responded. "Who are you?"

"I am the enemy of your enemy." Malakye said. "Is that enough to make us friends?" He attempted to walk toward his savior, but he fainted.

Arkada picked him up by the waist. His hand inadvertently reached into Mal's. "I suppose I should try to get you to a doctor, friend." He said. "I doubt many will be open in this town right now though."

The sound of a rocket interrupted the greeting. Arkada reacted just in time throwing himself and Malakye in opposite directions and the sword flew between them.

"I thought that thing was dead!" Vixen yelled in Arkada's head. If only she had been as savvy as her precursor.

The shadow was very much still alive. It swooped down upon the skeleton the had barred it, merging with it. Black fire ignited on the skeleton's bones replacing the fire Mal had quenched and the arm and head regenerated.

"Oh shit!" Arkada thought. His feeling of fear was soon replaced as he looked down at his hand. In it was a white slab with a yellow stone. "It's his ranger morpher!" Vixen thought. "He grabbed it out of Mal's pocket!" She knew what he was feeling even though he didn't. She had felt it as JO. His new power was beckoning to him. He strapped the morpher to his wrist and raised it into the air.

"D5! Yin Morph! Lightning!" He shouted as lightning engulfed him. In his mind her became the lightning, and in truth he became the yellow ranger. Beneath his new helmet his face reflected the greatest excitement he had ever felt.

The monster charged toward him spikes forward. It had met its match as Arkada's block proved more dangerous than Malakye's. It was electrified. Current moved from sword to spike and then to monster, frying it from the inside. It fell back as Arkarda moved forward slashing at it with his sword. The monster was forced to block with its claws, which proved just futile as its attack. Already tiered from fighting Malakye it could do nothing to resist. It continued to retreat until its back hit the wall. Arkada then sliced it half. The black fire began to burn away at it remains. Within seconds they were ashes.

"That's for my peanut butter!" Arkada yelled. He turned around expecting to face Malakye, but the monster was not finished. The skeleton's severed head and arm levitated before him. They aligned as the skull laughed and the arm launched forward toward Arkada. He blocked it with his sword. The arm was electrocuted but the head was safe… or at least so it thought.

"Stay frosty motherfucker!" He yelled as he trust his sword forward. "Lightning Blitz!" The arm immediately crumbled as a burst of lightning came from his sword striking the head. It gave one final roar, and then exploded. It was over. Arkada had won.

Applause came from the side lines. Arkada looked over to see a new figure emerge from the shadows clad in blue spandex. "Congratulations Arkada!" Film Brain squeed. "I knew you could do it!"

"You're a ranger too!" Arakda said looking at him. "Why didn't you help us!"

"Because the plot said so." Film brain said.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Arkada raved. "I could have been killed. Your friend could have been killed."

"The story hasn't even started yet, no one can die!" Film Brain said.

"You're insane." Arkada said.

"Film Brain!" Vixen yelled out in Arkada's mind. "Listen to me, don't go to Indiana." She knew he couldn't hear him, but she had to try. "You'll die if you do. My friends will be kidnapped if that happens!"

"Yeah, I know." Film Brain replied.

"Who was he talking too!" Vixen thought.

Film Brain approached Malakye.

"I'll save Malakye." He said. "You need to talk to our leader. She's down that corridor fighting Angry Joe."

Arkada did not need to be told twice. "Twat!" He mumbled under his breath as he turned toward the corridor and ran down it. As he left earshot Film Brain got in one more line in.

"By the way," He said. "That girl in your head is really pretty!"

There were piles of black armor littering the ground as Arkada ran down the corridor. In the distance he heard the sound of the wind and of machine gun fire. Ahead of him JO charged forward. She was surrounded by Black knights as she approached an intersection, but that would not stop her. Two black knights were in lines behind her, and to her left and her right. Three were lined up in front of her and behind them was Angry Joe. She was too close to her prize now to abandon it. Arkada came upon the battle ready to aid her, but he proved to late… she had won all by herself.

She ran at the knight directly in front of her with the wind boosting her speed. The Knight blocked, but it was sent flying backward with incredible speed and collided with eh knight behind it. Both collapsed into piles of armor. As this happened the knights to her left and right threw their swords at JO, but her charge forward caused them both o miss and hit each other resulting a double coup de grace. The knight behind her charged toward her, but she was able to turn around and block just in time. "Air Slash" She shout slicing the knight apart with the wind, but that was not all she did as the air continued on striking and destroying the next knight in line. The remaining three charged at her from all directions, but she did not terminate her elemental attack as she rotated a full 360 degrees terminating the knights instead.

Sword outstretched she turned around to face Angry Joe.

"That's the last of your minions here Joe." JO said. "This is your last chance to surrender."

"I never surrender!" Angry Joe raved. He held up Susanoo's Orb. "Feel the storm god's wrath!" In a flash of lightning he disappeared.

"Did he just die?' Vixen wondered.

JO felt the ground where Angry Joe had been standing.

"There are no remains and no ashes." She said. "Damn it! He got away."

"For what it's worth, I don't think he meant to." Arakda said.

JO turned around and saw him.

"Who are you?" She asked.

Arkada took off his helmet and revealed his face. "I think I'm your newest member."

XXXXX

"Done!" Linkara said back in the real world. The screen on which the others had been viewing Vixen's dreams went blank.

"The chippers been modified and downloaded to Vixen's devise." He continued. "The lack of a dream right now suggests Vixen has resumed normal sleep cycle."

"It couldn't have happened soon enough!" Prof said. "Can you download it to us now."

"Of course." He said. "JO, if you please,"

Malakye looked at the sleeping Vixen. "She's sleeping directly beneath my room." He thought. "This could make for an awkward morning."

Once they were all scanned the returned headed to their rooms. Sleep would eb nice after the long sleepless trip. Linkara was jealous of them.

"At least they get to sleep now." He said to himself. "Ever since I died I haven't been able to."

He sighed. "Sleep well brigade." He continued. "The future of Kickassia lies with you."

XXXXX

Next Time, on D2Sentai Brigade Ranger:

Les Chevaliers Noirs affrontent une armée moderne comme notre Villan est donné un test horrifiante, à l'acier d'une arme nucléaire. Petit ne sait-il quel est l'enjeu pour lui personnellement. Qu'est-ce qui va se passer lorsque notre héros découvre ce qui se passe, et plus ce que pouvons-nous apprendre à leur sujet. Découvrez la prochaine fois dans "Mangeurs de Voile et Silos"

Why am I speaking French! Why am I speaking French! I don't want to be French! Take off your Freaking Pants!


	4. Snail Enters and Silos

Those of you who have been following this story will have noted, new chapters are taking a very long time. I am looking for a co-author to accelerate production. If anyone reading this is interested, please PM me. Thanks.

Speech in [brackets] is translated from French.

XXXXXXXXXX

Malakye felt at peace in the garden of the Sun Temple. Covering the top of one of the base's five points it was a tribute to the wood element. Containing plant species thought extinct long before the existence of humanity, it was also a major hint as to the temple's age. It was not the garden thought that gave Malakye his peace; it was his work. In front of him was his personal mech, the wolf zord. Using his ranger powers, he had personally pealed back the metal on the mech's surface with exposing the machinery beneath, some of which he had connected to his computer. He sought to understand how this machine worked and where it came from. The quest for understanding invigorated him, but some of the others in the brigade were less exited. He looked back to see JO approaching him.

"Hello, leader." He said.

"Malakye," she asked "why are you dismantling our most powerful weapon?"

"I am not dismantling it." He replied. "I am attempting to back-engineer it."

"The best scientists in the world haven't made a robot this effective yet." JO said. "What makes you think you can understand it? What makes you think you won't break it trying?"

"I have been careful to work slowly, never making a step that cannot easily be undone with basic mechanical knowledge." Malakye explained. At his mental command the robot raised its head and wagged its tail. "With each step I make sure what I make done has not impaired the overall function of the machine. I feel what I have already learned is enough to justify potential any potential risks."

"What is it you have learned?" JO asked.

"Everything," He said pulling out his computer "albeit not in a form that's useful. I have linked my computer with that of the zord. I'm pering into the systems that control and maintain every machine in the robot. Unfortuantly…"

The screen of his computer went blue.

"Its operating system is incompatible with mine. I have no way for interpreting the data from the zord's computer." He continued." Hacking an effectively alien operating system is much harder than in the movies. However, there is a way I could circumvent this."

"What way is that?" JO asked.

"The same way we control the mecha themselves, through the neuro-interface." Mal said. "The chips in our heads are able to interpret human thoughts in a way the zords can understand. What's to stop it from going in reverse, for the inner workings of the mecha to be downloaded directly into our minds? The only potential barrier is Linkara's cipher."

"Are you insinuating that we should remove the cipher?"

"No, in fact considering nothing I've described happened before the cipher's introduction, completely removing it would beyond counterproductive, however if you allow me to further modify the cipher I could potentially have a working blueprint for a giant robot on my computer or even in my own mind."

"I will talk with Linkara about a modification," JO said, "but I can't authorize you to do it unilaterally."

"The potential benefits to further modifications are limitless." Mal said. "Imagine the tactical advantage of a single individual being able to remotely control the megazord rather than five individuals suck together in its cockpit to manage individual parts. Beyond the robots themselves even, you once advocated against the introduction of the cipher on the potential bonding granted by the dreams. A modified cipher could allow controlled dreams; we could be able to choose when to have them and which memories they show and be able to bock others from seeing more private memoires."

"Again," JO repeated "I will talk to Linkara, but I cannot authorize you to unilaterally modify the cipher."

"Do you not trust me?" Malakye asked. He knew she had reason not to given where he came from, though she seemed more trusting than Vixen.

"I wouldn't trust anyone with the power to invade the minds of his friends." JO replied. "Besides we still haven't established you can mess with the zord."

"Are you really going to stop me from doing even that?" Mal said.

"I am not going to stop you Malakye," JO said. "But if something goes wrong I will hold you responsible."

"Fair enough." Malakye said. JO then left.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Benzaie walked slowly through the base of the Moon temple. His god had summoned him.

[Can you believe it Beary!] He said to his brother. [The Divine Nerd has summoned us. He has finally sought fit to send us out on mission!]

"[He has sought fit to send you on mission.]" Beary said in friendly complement.

[Why thank you.] Benzaie replied.

Ahead of him, however, Benzaie saw something less friendly.

"Hello Benzaie." Handsome Tom said.

Both parties stopped in their tracks.

"Hello Tom," Benzaie said begrudgingly. "What might I ask you to be doing this close to the Divine Nerd?"

"I was speaking with the Divine Nerd not long ago." Tom replied. "Funny he should want to speak with me before you."

Ki gathered in Benzaie's hand.

"Watch what you say Yankee." Benzaie raved. "Your blasphemy will not go unpunished."

Ki also gathered in Tom's hands. "I would recommend you not call me that." He said tensely. "Afterall, we both know who will win this fight."

Benzaie was about to charge his rival, but a third party averted disaster.

"Can it both of you." The Nerd said approaching from behind Handsome Tom. "Save the street fighting for the brigade."

Both gamers stood down.

"Tom, you will leave us now." The Nerd continued. "As will the bear." Both obliged. The Nerd then led Benzaie deeper into his stolen temple.

"What is your will my god?" Benzaie asked.

"Angry Joe, as insubordinate as he is, has raised many good points to me." The Nerd answered. "The knights need to be tested against a modern army. It's time we attacked a military base. You, Benzaie, will lead this attack."

"It will be my honor, Divine Nerd." Benzaie said. "Which feeble army will feel your wrath?"

"I was flipping back and forth for a while between the United States and China." He replied. "The later contains the world's largest army, and the former the world's most advanced weapons, both important factors to test the knights against. In the end, I chose to go where I had the easiest payoff. I have little to gain from winning against China, but very much to gain from the country that stores it nuclear arsenal in known locations."

Benzaie stopped in his tracks. "My god," He said "are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"I am, Benzaie." The Nerd replied. "Your target is Y-12 National Security complex. Kill all of the soldiers there and then rocket out the nuclear weapons to isolated locations. Gamers are already being deployed to collect the warheads and return them to PWNia via ground transportation. Susano's orb will let you teleport yourself in and out along with anything you can carry on your person."

Benzaie hesitated. "God has willed it, so it shall be done." He thought to himself. "As you command my god." He said to the Nerd as he passed him Susanoo's orb.

"It had better be."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"So what do you think?" JO asked her mentor.

"It could be done." Linkara said. "It would be tough though; the base cipher was already complex before we altered it."

"So you don't think he's out for a mind control option?" JO asked.

"If he is I question why." Linkara said. "He's not a spy for the Nerd; if we were it would have been stupid to free you back in Kickassia."

"I question why he does anything." JO said. "He fights for the strongest warrior? If that's the case he should still be with the Nerd. Does he want the Moon Temple? Why? And why would he have served the Nerd in the first place if that was all he wanted? It's obvious his loyalty starts with us, but where does it end?"

"I don't see why it matters. If nothing else his immediate goal is the same as ours. What do we care what he does after that?" Linkara said. "I doubt he's some kind of evil dictator."

"What do you think he is?" JO asked.

"I don't know." Linkara replied. "He reminds me a lot of Spoony."

"Spoony had a dark side too you know." JO noted.

"He had a good reason." Linkara said. "There were times I was suspicious of him too, but when I got to know him, he quickly became my best friend. Tell me JO, who do you think Malakye is?"

"I do defiantly think of him as an ally, maybe even a friend" JO said, "but after what the gamers pulled, I've learned just how untrustworthy friends can be."

Linkara was shocked by this comment. "Surly you don't…" he began, but a sound from the computers interrupted him. Both in JO's and in Malakye's rooms the computers were constantly monitoring the news programmed to alert them to a report of Black Knight or monster attack. An attack had come.

"I'm live from Oakridge Tennessee." A reporter's voice sounded, gunfire audible in the distance. "The mysterious knights that attacked Toronto earlier this year are seen once again in the United States, this time en masse. The military is blocking exact details, but the Y-12 Security Complex, famous for its role in the Manhattan Project and continued stewardship of the US nuclear arsenal, is under attack. New information will be released as it becomes available."

"Good God!" Linkara exclaimed. "The Nerd's about to join the nuclear club!"

"Round up the rest of the brigade and get them to meet me in the Room of Dusk." JO said. "There's no time to waste."

"You're going to teleport there!"

"DO we have a choice?" JO asked. Linkara sighed. She was right.

"Be careful." He said. "Last time you fought a gamer it didn't end to well."

"This time I know exactly what I'm getting into." JO replied.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Benzaie stood atop a barrack, two Black Knight swords tied to his arms, overlooking the complex he essentially occupied. All over it US soldiers fought the Black Knights, and all over the Black Knights were wining. The French born PWNian had no fear of being caught in the cross fire. Even if the Divine Nerd had not seen fit to grant him immortality, PWNia had retained the cloaking abilities of old Kickassia. No one could see him, let alone kill him.

A few buildings away from him the knights were attempting to take a building guarded by artillery units. This was the test he had been waiting for. Rockets stuck the incoming Black Knights. The charge stopped and the front most knights were destroyed. The ones behind them threw their swords. Fiery projectiles themselves at ballistic speeds, they destroyed the front row of artillery. The back row fired again and the remaining knights were destroyed.

Benzaie chuckled. "It would appear that Angry Joe was wrong, the knights are indeed venerable to heavy artillery." He thought. "Not that it matters."

Another wave of knights appeared behind the artillery. The soldiers manning them never knew what hit them.

"Infantry units that can not only fight on par with heavy artillery but that can disappear and reappear wherever convenient," Benzaie thought "a full army of them would be all but invincible. Within the hour I should have the entire complex and its nuclear arsenal under PWNian control."

Susano's orb raised a counterpoint as the brigade's teleportation moved the sun-like disk over to Tennessee. Again Benzaie laughed.

"[Looks like JO and friends are paying us a visit.]" He said aloud. The brigade materialized not far from him and split up moving out in a star shaped pattern. "[Dividing your forces again JO? You should know better than that by now.]" The sky darkened with clouds. "[It's time to show those Shinto wannabes a real god's power.]" A bolt of lightning came from the sky. "In the name of the nerd I summon a monster from the deepest void."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The brigade materialized amidst the battle swords outstretched.

"Scatter!" JO yelled.

They split up engaging the Black Knights on their own front. It was the only way to engage them all when the battlefield encompassed the whole complex.

"Air Slash!" She yelled blowing down Black knights immediately in front of her. Boosted by the wind she charged at the knights behind them and took them down with melee attacks. "Too easy." She thought taking out more knights with another elemental attack. She saw the sky darken above her. "Here it comes."

Directly ahead of her a lightning bolt struck the ground and a monster materialized. It was a giant bird of red and blue feathers and an elongated beck. Flapping its wings it hovered directly above the ground.

"Air Slash!" She yelled. The bird flapped its wings rapidly negating JO's attack with its own burst air. She charged toward it sword outstretched her speed busted by the wind; the bird two lunged forward meeting JO's sword with its beak the two attacks negating eachother.

"This monster was almost certainly picked just for me." JO thought. "That just works out so much better!'

She ran from the beast, her retreat boosted with the same wind that had enhanced her attacks. The bird perused. Flying at comparable speeds, the monster was but a few steps behind her. JO knew the monster would overtake her in the long run, but that didn't matter. Long before then she heard the beast cry out in pain. It had fallen into her trap.

Turning around she saw two of her friends with swords piercing each of the monster's sides. Arkada on its right, his electrified sword damaging the beast beyond the mere stabbing wound. Vixen was on the beast's left, her sword likewise continuing to damage the monsters by drawing water from its body. Squads of Black Knights were charging at them from behind, but it did not matter. They leap over the bid monster and engaged each other's pursuers.

"Water Rapier!" Vixen shouted sending the bird's bodily fluid flying toward the knights.

"Lightning Blitz!" Ark shouted launching lightning as usual. Both squads of knights collapsed.

"Air Slash!" JO shouted launching her elemental attack at the bird. Wounded by the other rangers it could not react in time. A deep gash appeared on it font side as it was propelled back.

XXXXXXXXX

Benzaie overlooked the battle. He saw Vix and Ark, the brigadiers closest to JO brake rank at the site of a lightning strike, and attack both his summon and the knights that were flanking them in one move. He was very impressed. It was JO that was playing the division of Benzaie's forces, not the other way around. He laughed. "It appears she has indeed learned from past mistakes." He thought. "Unfortunately for her, so have I."

He leapt to the ground. "The foolish Handsome Tom was blind enough to leave the fighting to his summons; I however am wise enough to attack from invisibility."

Ki gathered in his hands as he charged toward his former college. "You will die now JO." He thought. "Shoryuken!"

The attack never landed.

"Earth Meteor!"

Malakye slammed down from above upon the aggressor, driving his body into the ground and his sword into his shoulder. Almost immediately his legs were buried, but Benzaie was able to capitalize on his immortality, thrusting up his shoulder. It severed his arm on Malakye's sword, but by as a consequence the sword no longer was in contact with him, and the attack was broken, freeing his legs. He leapt away drawing a Black Knight's sword against Mal.

"Impressive that you still stand PWNian," Malakye said as his opponent landed "but ultimately useless, so long as your feet touch the ground you cannot hide from me." He charged forward slashing at Benzaie who only barley blocked in time.

"You know you cannot defeat me." Benzaie said to him. "Any second now my arm will reattach itself and I will have you outclassed."

"Will you?" Malakye asked. "Indeed immortals like you have us beat in raw strength, but it is not the strongest general that wins the battle but the smartest. How much strain has my ambush caused you?"

Benzaie's arm began to levitate off the ground and float back to him. 'Let's find out." He said. As the arm reattached ki immediately began collecting in it. "My rivalry with Handsome Tom has given me many more tricks than just immortality." He trust his arm up toward Malakye. "Shoryuken!" He said up again knocking the hero upward and back. HE seethed his sword and prepared another ki attack. "Die heathen!" He shouted. "HADOKEN!" The famous blast of energy shot out from Benzaie's hands and struck Malakye. He hit the ground hard, his visor shattering.

"There is no way I can lose to the likes of you!" Benzaie said as Mal regained his footing. "I am empowered by the Divine Nerd!"

"The Angry Video Game Nerd is a false god." Malakye said. "All of his powers were stolen from the gods of Japan. If anything I am closer to divinity than he is, for at least I can say I am chosen."

"Blasphemy!" Benzaie yelled. His sword caught fire as he redrew it and charged at Malakye. In blocking the attack Mal's sword glow red hot.

XXXXXXXXXXX

"Water Rapier!"

Vixen's attack drained the monster as the others encircled it.

"Lightning Blitz!" "Air Slash!"

Water lightning and air were blasted toward the bird. In order to dodge the attacks it had only once choice. It flew straight up and the elemental attack passed beneath it.

JO ran breath the bird. "Air Slash!" She yelled launching her elemental attack straight up at it. As the gust of air approached it the beast turned around blasting air from its own wings that both negated JO's and propelled it further upward. It then began to fall down toward the ground beak first.

"It's doing a dive attack!" Vixen yelled.

JO fled from the beasts path only for Arkada to step into it pointing his sword straight up.

"Are you insane!" JO yelled back.

"Probably." Arkada said. "Care to join in a combo attack?"

It was Vixen that stepped to join him crossing swords with his.

"The laws of physics are no on your side Arkada." JO said.

"FUCK PHYSICS!" Arkada yelled. Vixen joined in to call the attack.

"Storm Attack! Lightning Rapier!"

Water felled down from within the bird as the clouds above it swirled into the shape of a hurricane. The water gathered at the brigadiers' sword then shout back up if incredible speeds. Seconds later a bolt of lightning came down from the clouds. It struck the bird at the same the time as the water pushing. The turret from below magnified the intensity of the lightning and pushed at the bird until it came to a stop. It let out one final cry and then exploded into a million pieces that fell harmlessly to the ground just beneath them.

"How did you know the attack would do that before you did it?" JO asked.

"I didn't." He replied.

"You didn't!" Vixen yelled.

The clouds above them parted, and a beam of light came down on them from the false moon they revealed.

"Never mind." JO said aloud. "The battle's not over yet."

XXXXXXXXXXX

Blow after blow fell upon Malakye, and yet blow after blow he blocked.

"You will pay for your heresy freak!" Benzaie yelled. "With the black fire of my sword I'll send you to hell right here!"

"You have no control over hell and neither does the Nerd." Mal replied. "No one with that power would hide from death."

The attacks came faster and faster.

"The cowardliness ofyour supposed god is mind blowing." Mal said as he continued to block the attacks. "I knew how pathetic he was from the moment I meet him."

The attacks grew faster and stronger yet.

"As if immortality and invisibility were not enough he sends his weaker minions alone in his place. A real leader fights alongside his troops facings death with both his friends and his enemies."

The attacks began to slow.

"If there is a hell, he will go there like any other tyrant and burn in the black fire he stole from Tsukeyomi."

Benziae's answer was simple. "DIE!" HE yelled slashing down with all his might. Mal thrust his sword upward, and cut Benzaie's sword in half.

"Checkmate." Mal said. The black fire on Benzaie's sword was quenched reveling red hot cracked metal. Mal's sword on the other hand had cooled and seemed almost undamaged.

Benzaie fell back but Mal charged forward at him. The former attacker barley drew his second sword in time to block. "Between your ki attacks and regeneration you grow tired. 8-Bit Mickey defeated JO by putting her in exactly this same situation. " Mal said. "Already I have you on the ropes, when the others defeat your freakish summon, there will be nothing you can do to resist us."

"An apostate like you will never be saved." Benzaie said. "Defeat me here and nothing will change; you will still suffer when the Divine Nerd rules all creation!" He trust up his fist. "Shoryuken!"

This time Mal grabbed Benzaie's fist with his free hand. "Even in the face of defeat you cling to superstition." He said. He then thrust his sword forward disarming his enemy, and stabbing him in the intestine. "You will not be around to see it, but it will be I that conquers this world, not your false god." He slide his sword up through the stomach. "Just like all the others, he was a stepping stone in my way to power." Benzaie then fell to his knees. "Let's see just how immortal you are."

In a flash of lightning Benzaie teleported away.

"Surrender monkey." Malakye grumbled. "What else could I have expected?" Looking up he saw the same unnatural eclipse as in Florida. Under its influence Benzaie's summon was growing to an extreme height. "Given my line of work, probably that."

He released his own zord. The bird took flight before him JO's owl in pursuit, Ark and Vixen's zords appearing below it and blasting it with energy beams. The beams were easily dodged, however and when the bird flapped a gust of wind at JO's mech its similar move proved too weak to counter the attack and the zord was blown to the grown.

The scream on the wolf zord's control panel immediately activated with a quad view of the other rangers.

"JO's zord is the only one that can effectively fight in the air and its not enough." Prof siad.

"We need Union Mode now!" JO encoded.

"I agree." Mal said pressing the touch command along with the others. His zord began to run toward the location of Ark's and Vixen's, but it fell over as it started. "Have my experiments truly damaged the mech?" He thought worriedly.

The other zords began moving toward his, and combined without incident. The rest of the brigade seemed oblivious to Mal's malfunction.

"I can't tell them about this." He thought. "Not yet."

"All right brigade!" Prof yelled out as they entered the megazord's common control room. "

The giant monster swooped down on them from above beak first. The megazord flew up; the horn of Ark's narwhal pointing forward. The two collided. Both were rocked, but neither seemed permanently damaged.

"Did we just joust with a giant monster in mid air?" Prof asked.

"Yep," Mal replied "with a robot narwhal horn no less."

"Ranger fighting is really weird." Prof complained.

"Don't you love it!" Ark raved.

"Hmm," Mal thought "this is kind of an odd conversation to have after disemboweling someone."

Beneath them the bird landed on its feet and immediately flew back up for another round.

The megazord turned around and began falling horn first at the monster.

"Yeah! We get to do it again!" Arkada yelled.

"Disembowel?" Malakye asked.

The brigade turned to look at him.

"What?" JO asked.

"Nothing." Mal replied

The horn scrapped the bird's beak, dulling it on one side and ultimately colliding with the monsters eye.

"Now we're good." Mal thought.

Round three commenced as the megazord reached the ground and flew up once again to engage the monster bird. They collided, but this time it was the megazord that took the most damage as birds beak scrapped a gouge down the megazrod's body exposing much of its internal machinery.

"The party going down seems to have an advantage over the one going up." JO noted.

"Fucking physics!" Ark raved.

"The monster's already half blind." Vixen said. "One more hit ought to do it in. I say am for the other eye while we're on top."

"Agreed." JO said. They swooped down for a final round. This time they hit the monster's brain, and it fell to the ground.

"Time to finish it." Prof said.

The megaozord hovered in midair on the owl's wings as balls of light accumulated in all six of its mouths.

"Five Star Hex!"

Six beams of light fell down upon the bird as it hit the ground. It have out one last cry in pain and then was dust.

"Buya!" Ark yelled.

"I assume you took down the gamer leading the knights Malakye." JO inquired

"Correct." Mal replied.

"Then the knights are cannon fodder." JO said. "Let's split back and finish them off."

"No need." Prod noted, scouting the ground.

The reaming knights had disappeared along with Benzaie.

JO saw this too. "Our work here is done then."

In a flash they were back home.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Benzaie rematerialized in the Room of Dawn. He sat there stationary for several minutes while his wounds healed.

"[Damn you Malakye]" He said to himself as he struggled to get up. Limping over to the exit he saw his god waiting for him

"All praises be to you Divine Nerd!" Benzaie said to him.

"Save it froggy!" The Nerd replied. "You have returned empty handed!" The game heroes approach behind him.

"8-Bit Mickey, Handsome Tom," the Nerd began, "Twice now Benzaie had failed me, once to the brigade, and once to you. Take from him everything you desire, be it wealth or power, and I will take the rest."

Benzaie collapsed onto the ground. The Nerd looked down at him. "And I'll make sure there's nothing left." His rivals grabbed him and began to haul him away.

"Please my god!" He yelled "I would do anything for you!" but his pleas fell on death ears.

"Goodbye failure." The nerd said to him. The game heroes laughed. Benzaie cried.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Back in the Sun Temple Malakye once more sat before a zord, five of them this time; his was welding their hulls back together.

JO was behind him.

"Any luck repairing them?" She asked.

"The damage was ultimately minimal." Mal said. "None of the internal machinery was damaged. All I have to do is reseal the hulls."

"That is quite fortunate." JO said. "Keep up the good work."

"You actually approve?" He asked JO.

"After the scrap, I'm afraid I have to." JO replied. "I hadn't thought of the possibility of a monster damaging the zords. We need someone too understand them so we can make repairs."

Mal was surprised he had not thought of that either. It had never been a problem on the show…

"I have a confession to make." He said, JO's approval guilting him. "The wolf zord would not move on its own before the battle. I fear my experiments may have broken it as you feared."

JO sighed. 'Don't worry about it." She said. "Its clear these things were designed to fight together rather than apart. Besides, I'm sure you'll figure out how to fix it soon. Heck, I'd like to join you in he experiments."

"Know anything about mechanics or engineering." Mal asked.

"No." JO replied. "But I learn quickly. Before I came here I didn't know any Japanese, by now I'm already helping Prof translate the writing in the temple."

"Science and language are very different." Mal said, "but I must say that is impressive." He scouted over to allow her to join.

"He could have kept the broken zord a secret, but he told he anyway." Jo thought. "Maybe my mistrust in him was misplaced…"

"Excellent." Mal thought as JO joined him in welding. "Between the knights and these robots, I'll have everything I need for an unbeatable army."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Future Vision:

To begin, the eye gazes frantically onto the field of battle were the sun and moon vie for control of the desert. What does the eye see, and what of the body that harbors it? Fallen heroes prepare for battle as the hand sets its sights on the city of wind. A rotten apple falls within the sun and a platypus demands control of the owl's nest. And Then!


End file.
